Beyond measure......



I had the best Saturday that I've had in a very long time. I wasn't sure what to expect. Sometimes I set my expectations too high, then am disappointed. This was not the case.

The Nashville Women's Prison Annex held a "Day of Beauty" on Saturday. There were booths set up for manicures, pedicures, makeup, hair, foot baths/foot massages, and chair massages. Each lady was given a gift bag that included full size shampoo, conditioner, body wash, tooth brush, and a various assortment of small items. Everything was donated...even the actual bag itself. These gift bags were treasured as if they contained all the riches of the world. Some tears were shed out of thankfulness.

I was one of the volunteers for chair massage. There were 3 of us. We were one of the most popular booths to say the very least. I have no idea how many bodies I had beneath my hands between 12:00 & 4:00, but I know it was a LOT! We had an incredible time. These women were some of the funniest, loving and caring individuals that I have met in some time. There were times when we were all laughing....there were times when there was silence because the gals were so relaxed. There were some tears from simply being touched. They all suffered from touch depravity. When I simply laid my hand on a shoulder or back, I could feel "melting." I fell in love with each and every one of them. This day boosted self esteem like one could never imagine. Over and over again we heard "You guys are such a blessing. Thank you for giving up your Saturday to spend time with us." If they only knew we weren't giving up anything. We were being blessed beyond our comprehension.

There was a concert and words of appreciation at 4:00. The women gathered out on the lawn in front of the entrance to the service building. Standing inside looking out over the sea of faces, I saw so much joy. As the Christian singer sang, many wept openly and some raised hands in worship. Their spirit reached within me hugging my heart. As we left, several that we'd ministered to grabbed us and hugged us deeply thanking us once more.

It was a day that I wish to repeat many times over.....

Self Care...

I'm a care giver. That's what I do. Most massage therapists fall in this category. Wounded healers if you will. Looking back into my history, it became very clear that I put everyone's needs before my own. This, in itself, is not a bad thing. However, if you do not have a well to draw from to replinish your own needs when your well is running dry, things tend to fall apart. In my case, it was the darkness of depression. Days of just not caring merged with days where it was a struggle to get out of bed. For those that suffer with depression, I deeply feel your pain.

Fortunately, I climbed out of the depression pit and into the sunlight. I still put other's needs before mine in most cases. The difference now lies in the fact that I know when I need to take care of me. Yesterday was one of those "me" days. I did not step foot out of the house. I read, I watched mindless tv, I napped, I took a bubble bath, and I did not answer my phone (much to the frustration of my friend I'll refer to as the non-blonde.) This is what I needed. This is what my body and mind craved in order to recharge my batteries. Today I explained to the non-blonde that I was fine...just taking some time for me. She was relieved that something disasterous had not happened to me.

This afternoon, I gave a massage. I gave 100%. Long, smooth, nurturing strokes. Comfort flowing from my hands into the body of another. It was healing for both of us, only because I've found that "balance." My harmony. I know when I need to take care of me.

In my "me" time, I also made another self discovery. In every relationship I've been in, I've been the giver. My parter received the comfort, nurturing, support and love.....then they'd walk out the door and leave me...an empty vessel. "No more!" is the cry of Bendy. Awareness is stoked up on high. The giving must be a two way street going forward. My dear friends, Maximus & Pickle have that balance...that harmony. They're in the flow. Thank you both for setting such a good example of what a relationship should be :)

During my drive to work, I pass several stables. One has several mares with their Spring foals in various fenced areas. I love to watch the babies grow.

The last one I pass is a Walking Horse Stable. Almost every morning, there are one or two grooms out working the horses. I am forever tempted to pull over and just watch. To me, watching these horses is like watching music. The syncopation of the head nod and the high stepping front legs in conjunction with the smooth, solid steps of the hind legs is like a jazzy sax accompanied by a string bass. I’m thinking I may have to go to the Celebration this year.

when monkeys fly.......

So my work world is spent in a cube these days. A nice cube...but a cube nonetheless. Concentration is pricked by conversations that bleed into one another. Several months ago I received a link to a site that had all kinds of fun gadgets. One that particularly caught my eye...

The Screaming Monkey

Apparently you hook your fingers into this little guys paws, pull back on his body like a sling shot, and send him flying. As he sails, he busts loose with a shrill "scream." Now how much fun would that be?

When the gabbing starts getting to me, I fantasize about partnering up with the monkey....aiming over the cubes and LETTING HIM FLY!!! Tell me THAT visual didn't make you smile :)