time for me to fly.....
although it hurts to say goodbye.....

For the last five months, I've been on a roller coaster in Bendyland.

I left the comfort zone of a jobplace of 11 years for the unknown...
I finished massage therapy school...
I started working for a Christian non-profit...
I passed my state boards and received my title of LMT (I'm so proud!)
I watched the non-profit slowly dwindle until I was out of a job...
I worked for a spa as a therapist...for two days....

If you look at the above circumstances, you might think, "Damn Bendy...you've had a little hard luck mixed in with some good. However, there's an untold or unseen story that lies beneath the surface....

Regarding my company of longevity...I prayed "Lord, when it is time for me to leave this place, let me know and make it clear." He did. I was written up for 2 pages of nonsense with a sprinkling of truth. I'd never had any trouble in 11 years. I knew this was my sign. Before I gave my superior a chance to fire me, I gave my notice to work until the end of the year. I left for the day and did more praying. "Lord, if I'm doing the right thing, give me clear confirmation. The next day I was asked to leave at noon and not return. Pretty darned clear if you ask me!! Thank you Jesus!

The non-profit was a victim of the economy. Many of us donated our time until we had to seek other employment to survive.

The spa... I had decided that I would move back to my hometown in two years when I turned 50 to be close to my parents and closer to my girls. I enjoyed the spa and the therapists. I was concerned that it would take a lot of time to build up enough clientele to cover my bills. Once more I prayed "Lord, give me clarity to whether I should stick it out or move on." After two days I was asked to meet with my manager, who was/is a lovely person. She told me that nervousness or insecurity was coming through my hands and she didn't know what to do. I smiled. Anyone who has ever been under my hands knows that I rock the massage table. Maximus can attest to that fact. My manager could not produce any comment cards attesting to what she was saying about me. I knew...it was time.

So I left the spa with kind words and hugs and well wishes and called my folks to let them know I was coming home. I'm thinking it was like the Prodigal's reaction when he found out his son was coming home.

So, I've been spending these last days in Tennessee packing stuff, throwing stuff away and saying goodbyes. I had a wonderful time last Sunday at a cookout with the YaYa's. I'm going to lunch with a group of friends tomorrow. I'm going to dinner and a movie with a bunch of crazy women Saturday night. I'm traveling to Arkansas on Wednesday to attend my youngest daughter's graduation, then returning to say my final goodbyes and load up on May 15.

I find my eyes leaking frequently and at unexpected times, like when I'm sharing apples with the spoiled horses, or when I sit out under the huge yellow poplar tree in the cool of the evening, or when I think of leaving the people that I've come to love in the many years I've been here.

Yes, I'm easing on down the road to the next leg of my journey and thankful for every moment that has led to the next one.