rollin' with the trolls.....

Usually once a year I lose my mind and think that it would be a good idea to check out the personals and find someone to date. Silly me. You'd think I'd learn, being the smart gal that I am.

So I signed up on a popular online dating site. Now, unlike some, I'm truthful to a fault when describing myself. Blonde, hair, blue eyes, warped sense of humor, tattoo, nose stud and fat & sassy. Pretty good summation if I do say so myself.

I've found that many men view, but few actually email. Those that view and do not email are looking for someone that is of ''average build, fit, or slender." All I've got to say is good luck with that.

Here's my experience with actual respondees...(is that a word?)

One admitted to having a girlfriend but wasn't sure where the relationship was going. I later found the girlfriend AND HER THREE KIDS resided with him.

One was an adorable man that I had great chemistry with. The problem? He only wanted a sexual relationship. Well, at least he was honest.

Next? Here's a good one.... He was adamant about wanting to meet me. He wanted to meet someone with brown hair and green eyes, with an average or athletic build. Tattoos and piercings were a no no. HELLO??? Did you READ my profile? I gently reminded him of this. He said he could live with the tattoo, but asked that I remove my nose stud if we go out. Being who I am, I informed him that I am who I am and you take me as I am. Silly man...thinking I'd change. Well, he was a tough one and still insisted on going out for dinner. We had a lovely dinner and good conversation. Believe it or not, he did not pass out from the nose stud. The next day I got an email stating he felt no connection and did not want to go out again. Dude...I tried to warn you before we ever made the date.

Last but not least...I received an email from a man in Clarksville. Good Christian spirit filled man. I thought "hmmmmm let's see what he's all about." The second conversation he had he mentioned that maybe if we hit it off, he could get a massage with a happy ending. Yep...you heard me. Bendy immediately informed his hoochie azz that massage was my business...my profession...and there would be no happy endings for him or anyone else. 'Nuff said.

Yep, I've decided hanging with friends, chilling out with a good book or working with the horses is a much better way to spend my time. I also know, some time during the next year I'll wonder if things have changed and...well you know the rest of the story.