Bendy's World

2009-07-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

you CAN go home again, but......

I moved away from my hometown 22 years ago. I enjoyed my location and thought I'd be there forever. God had another plan. In the chess game called "life" this pawn was manuevered here and there and was eventually guided back to her hometown.

It's a blessing that I could move back into my parents' home...the home that I grew up in. I planned on getting a job in a few weeks, saving some cash and getting a place of my own. Again...MY plans are not always how things roll! It's been almost 2 months...still jobless.

Now, I realize that things take time. I'm not one that posesses patience. Evidently God feels this is something I need to work on. Love that sense of humor He has.....okay not so much a times!

I have gone from a 48 year old independent female to being viewed as a 16 year old without a clue. Respecting the "Honor your father and mother" code of conduct...I keep my mouth shut and chew on my tongue a lot. I'm thinking it would taste better with BBQ sauce. Anyhow I digress....

My dad has all his clothes in the room I'm staying in. The computer is also in the room I'm staying in. The cordless phone recharges in the room I'm staying in. The vacuum sits in the room I'm staying in. (See where I'm going with all this?) "My" room gets more traffic than a Tokyo massage parlor!

My mother obsesses with wiping the shopping carts with antibacterial wipes. Okay, this is a good idea. (I've seen those booger digger kids after all.) However, I want to say "What on earth did you do before there were antibacterial wipes? Since the beginning of time, women have been shopping with germ infested shopping carts and survived!!" However, I chew my tongue and wait patiently while she performs the ritual. If it makes her feel better, then so be it.

My father obsesses with mowing the yard. He's 71 and insists on mowing about ever 3 days...4 if it hasn't rained. This, too, is a harmless obsession and the yard looks great. I think I have heard several neighbors cursing though, because once he cuts his, all the others look as if they need mowing too, though they really don't.

My 6 year old nephew stays with my folks when he's not in school. Oh, the joys of free babysitting! He's not used to getting told "no" and I don't think he's ever felt the whack of a hand on his tookus. Enter Aunt Bendy..... He now has moments where I'm sure thoughts of "I sure wish she'd stayed put" run through that little head of his.

You can stop laughing now....

I give my folks something new to talk about. I've upset their routine (well, except for the daily Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune viewing) and they've upset mine. We're learning to co-exist. I truly am thankful and blessed that I CAN stay with my parents and I will do my best to make it a less than painful experience for them. Now...if they would just do the same..... ;)

2009-05-11T14:26:00.000-07:00

pomp and circumstance......

I drove to Hot Springs Village, AR last Wednesday. Why? Because my youngest was graduating from Jessieville High School the following evening. I joined my folks, my sister and nephew and my aunt in a 4 bedroom condo that was more affordable than most basic hotel rooms.

Needless to say, there was a lot of gabbing and laughing and grubbing. The weather was warm. Graduating night, the gym was sweltering. Jesika's graduating class was made up of sixty something eager teenagers ready to take on the world

We held off on our party until Friday night. Kylie, Jesika, Spencer, Curtis, Tyler and Kaz joined the rest of us and it was on. The "Curtisisms" were met with laughter until sides were hurting. Wyatt, who is 6, was right in the middle of the big kids taking in every word. We may have to deprogram him.

Yesterday was spent packing up and driving back home with a smile and lots of good memories....

2009-04-30T18:31:00.000-07:00

time for me to fly.....
although it hurts to say goodbye.....

For the last five months, I've been on a roller coaster in Bendyland.

I left the comfort zone of a jobplace of 11 years for the unknown...
I finished massage therapy school...
I started working for a Christian non-profit...
I passed my state boards and received my title of LMT (I'm so proud!)
I watched the non-profit slowly dwindle until I was out of a job...
I worked for a spa as a therapist...for two days....

If you look at the above circumstances, you might think, "Damn Bendy...you've had a little hard luck mixed in with some good. However, there's an untold or unseen story that lies beneath the surface....

Regarding my company of longevity...I prayed "Lord, when it is time for me to leave this place, let me know and make it clear." He did. I was written up for 2 pages of nonsense with a sprinkling of truth. I'd never had any trouble in 11 years. I knew this was my sign. Before I gave my superior a chance to fire me, I gave my notice to work until the end of the year. I left for the day and did more praying. "Lord, if I'm doing the right thing, give me clear confirmation. The next day I was asked to leave at noon and not return. Pretty darned clear if you ask me!! Thank you Jesus!

The non-profit was a victim of the economy. Many of us donated our time until we had to seek other employment to survive.

The spa... I had decided that I would move back to my hometown in two years when I turned 50 to be close to my parents and closer to my girls. I enjoyed the spa and the therapists. I was concerned that it would take a lot of time to build up enough clientele to cover my bills. Once more I prayed "Lord, give me clarity to whether I should stick it out or move on." After two days I was asked to meet with my manager, who was/is a lovely person. She told me that nervousness or insecurity was coming through my hands and she didn't know what to do. I smiled. Anyone who has ever been under my hands knows that I rock the massage table. Maximus can attest to that fact. My manager could not produce any comment cards attesting to what she was saying about me. I knew...it was time.

So I left the spa with kind words and hugs and well wishes and called my folks to let them know I was coming home. I'm thinking it was like the Prodigal's reaction when he found out his son was coming home.

So, I've been spending these last days in Tennessee packing stuff, throwing stuff away and saying goodbyes. I had a wonderful time last Sunday at a cookout with the YaYa's. I'm going to lunch with a group of friends tomorrow. I'm going to dinner and a movie with a bunch of crazy women Saturday night. I'm traveling to Arkansas on Wednesday to attend my youngest daughter's graduation, then returning to say my final goodbyes and load up on May 15.

I find my eyes leaking frequently and at unexpected times, like when I'm sharing apples with the spoiled horses, or when I sit out under the huge yellow poplar tree in the cool of the evening, or when I think of leaving the people that I've come to love in the many years I've been here.

Yes, I'm easing on down the road to the next leg of my journey and thankful for every moment that has led to the next one.

2009-02-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

seriously????

My youngest daughter got a part in a dinner theatre production that runs all summer. They're currently in rehersal. She called me last night while she was sitting in the Walmart parking lot awaiting her dad's arrival. The following conversation ensued:

"Hey mom"
Hey Jes, whatcha doin?
"I'm sitting in the Walmart parking lot waiting on dad to get here."
What happened?
"Nothing. I have to buy boobs."
Why do you have to buy boots?
"Boobs mom. I have to buy boobs for my part."
Walmart sells boobs???
"Mom, Walmart sells everything.

Now I have been all over Walmart many times over, but I think I missed that aisle.

Jes, what the heck are you talking about?
"Mother! I have to get a padded bra and those insert thingies they sell."
You mean the rubber things that resemble chicken breasts?
"Yes that is what I mean. Geeze!"
Okay, gotcha. Well I'm very proud of you.
"So you're saying you're proud that I'm a bimbo?"
You're only a bimbo in the play. I'm proud of you for getting the part.
"Alright gotcha. Gotta go now."

These are the moments I cherish. LOL

2009-01-13T13:48:00.000-08:00

sometimes all you can do is laugh....

I have a leak. No, it's not a personal problem...I mean there is a leak in my kitchen. The drip is over a cupboard, so I've been keeping one of those aluminum broiling pans on top to catch the drip.

So last Saturday it had been raining cats, dogs and gerbils so the pan had been serving its' purpose. That evening, I needed a plate from the cupboard and as I opened the door.....

... said door caught on the pan, turning the pan completely upside down and dumping the water on the top of my head, all down the front of my shirt, and to my feet. It was like something you would have seen on "I Love Lucy." What did I do? I stood there laughing, regretting the fact that there was no one else there to share in the viewing pleasure.

2009-01-05T08:21:00.000-08:00

Horses....Kids...are they really so different?

My landlord has two horses...Handy and Slingshot. During the past year I have watched them and spoiled them and can't imagine a day without seeing them.

A few weeks ago, Slingshot foundered. Because of his condition, he's been kept up in a stall and given medicine and closely watched during recovery. He is now given a little hay and some grain with his medicine mixed in. Well, he's not too keen on the med mix. It's like he's thinking "why would someone ruin some perfectly fine grain with that nasty conconction! I'm not eating it!!"

In my observations, I've come to the conclusion that horses are a lot like children. When I went out to the barn to check on him the other day, I found Slingshot stretching his neck over the stall trying to get at some hay he knew he wasn't supposed to have. It was well out of reach, but he was trying anyway. I checked his feed bucket and there was his grain. I shook the bucket to let him know there was something in there. Oh, he was already aware and he was not having any part of it.

However....

When I put the grain in my hand, he ate it willingly, just as he does when I bring him apples or carrots. He ate every bit of it. It was all in the approach.

Yesterday while at the barn, Handy wandered into the stall next to Slingshot. He'd pulled up a long stalk of straw or weed or some such when he was in the pasture and brought it, you guessed it, to Slingshot. Handy can roam the pasture freely and since his buddy couldn't, he brought him something. Like kids do, after the nicety was offered, he reached over and nipped at his buddy. Slingshot then shot me the look "MAKE HIM STOP TOUCHING ME!" I couldn't keep from giggling. During my childhood, my sister shot that same look to my mother on many occasions as I picked at her. My kids have shot me the same look...usually Kylie picking at Jes. I guess it doesn't matter whether you have 4 legs or two, it's how we all roll :)

2008-12-10T08:07:00.000-08:00

the feline terror...

She arrived several years ago…tiny and scared. She hid for the first day. It wasn’t long until Jesika was pushing her around the living room in the Barbie limo. Chloe Kitty was riding in style! She grew quickly, as kittens always do, and developed quite a personality.

It was getting close to Christmas and the girls had taken great pains in decorating the Christmas tree. (You see where this is going don’t you?) Every ornament was in place and the lights were just right and the tree was lovely.

Enter Chloe…

At first, she just looked at the tree and checked things out. It wasn’t long until she was lying underneath it along with the presents. I guess she was channeling her “wild outdoor cat” side.

Then it happened….

We came home to find the tree toppled over and ornaments everywhere. Kylie righted the tree and painstakingly fixed the decorations and all was right with the world. However, after 3-4 times of this event occurring, Kylie threw her hands up and said “THAT’S IT!!!” She packed away the ornaments and lights and took the tree down and everything went back to the garage. We had a Christmas with no tree.

From that day forward, Miss Chloe Kitty became known as “Chloe, the cat who ruined Christmas!” lol

Chloe is still around. She’s now residing with Jes and her father in Arkansas. These days she is an outside cat who greatly enjoys sharing her food with the raccoons and chasing off dogs and rabbits and whatever creature that might venture into the yard. She gets occasional visits inside and enjoys every minute, stretching out on the back of the couch like she owns the place. When I see her, I call her “Chloe, the cat who ruined Christmas” and I swear she has a smirk on her face!

2008-12-09T07:59:00.001-08:00

are you kidding me??????

McDonald's has a fabulous marketing team that has now come up with gourmet coffees at about half the price of Starbuck's. I tried one of their lattes the other day and to my surpise, it was delicious. So yesterday it was cold and I was craving something hot. I pulled through the drive through and ordered a biscuit and a hazlenut latte, anticipating the frothy warmth. I pull up to the window to pay and the associate says "I'm sorry, we don't have any of our gourmet coffees at the moment." WHAT????? So, I substituted with a medium orange juice, which was not my desire, but was really good.

This morning I was craving orange juice. I pull up to the drive through and place my order only to hear "I'm sorry, we're out of orange juice." WHAT!!!! It was only 8:00!!! HOW could they be out of OJ????? Are the forces against me? Should I just opt to drink water or perhaps make coffee at home and quit supporting the machine known as Micky D's????

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm a creature of habit and believe in second chances ;)

2008-12-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

realizations.....

This past week I have several revalations...realizations of who I once was, who I am now and who I am becoming.

I treasure my solitude. Small, intimate gatherings are wonderful. However, a house full of people and children set my nerves on edge. It's better in my world to keep the "volume" down.

Also...regarding men. Guess what? I am not an option for you to keep open. Another thing...if you just want sex, keep looking. I'm sure there are plenty of willing participants to fulfill your needs, one of them not being me. I'm an intelligent, funny, warm hearted woman that deserves to be cherished. No, I do not want to have phone sex. Seriously??? One last thing...if you're married, do not lie about it. The truth always comes out and sometimes it's very ugly.

There are many opportunities in this world. If the current job is stifling your growth potential or is no longer fulfilling, there is another out there that is. Just look :)

If I want to stay in my jammies all day, it's okay. It doesn't mean I'm lazy or dirty or stinky, it just means that I enjoy a day of ease every now and again and it's okay.

I am not going to die if I miss a television show. Yes, I enjoy dishing certain shows, but if I miss an episode or an entire season, I'm pretty sure I'll still be breathing. I try not to live my life around the tube. I know that is amazing to some folks.

Animals are a good thing. They love unconditionally and do not judge. I try to get a dose of some kind of critter several times a week...more if possible.

Kids are going to do what kids are going to do. You raise them to the best of your ability and the choices they make are theirs and theirs alone. Just love them where they are.

When the day isn't going well, music always helps :)

2008-11-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

ode to cranberries....

Once again it's about that time of year. Turkey and trimmings and cranberry sauce! I'm not talking fresh cranberries lovingly combined with other ingredients for a beautiful presentation. I'm talking about the REAL stuff! That wonderful gellatinous goo in the shape of the can it emerges from! YUMMMMMMMM! It's just not Thanksgiving dinner to me if there isn't cranberry rounds that I can put on my plate between the turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy.

Of course cranberries can be enjoyed in various other forms. If you haven't tried them, Craisins are delicious and a great snack. Monday, I had lunch at Bread & Company. They serve a wonderful chicken salad on cranberry bread. I must say it was a joy to the tastebuds. If you haven't, try it sometime!

That's all I got on cranberries. Have a very blessed Thanksgiving!

2008-11-03T13:52:00.000-08:00

it's the little things.....

Last Friday I spent 7 hours of my day driving to Defuniak Springs, FL. "What on Earth for?" you may ask. FARM DAY!!!

Every year, a family I know hosts Farm Day out at their farm. The theme is "So the World May Know." Uhhhhhh Know what? Know Jesus. Volunteers invite friends and family as well as people they may meet, to a wonderful day to fellowship. No, it's not "churchy."

Saturday morning we started making final preparations. The official kick off was 11:00, however, there were some gate crashers. lol There were 2 zip lines, apple bobbing, a corn hust doll building booth, funnel cakes, cotton candy, face painting, square dancing, horseback riding, miniature donkeys, goats, sheep, peacocks, treasure hunt, hay ride (to the tune of 5 flatbed trailers), a huge bonfire and fireworks. I'm sure I left something out. Oh yeah!! The huge draw for the 3-5 year olds was the popcorn trough, as you can see by the above pic. There were several kiddos that were playing in the corn kernals from the time they got there, until darkness fell.

How could I forget about DINNER ON THE GROUNDS!!! Hotdogs & hamburgers and too many sides and desserts to mention. There were over 2800 people sharing their day. I have never seen so many smiling faces. Did I mention that all of this was free of charge? My heart was blessed by all the smiles and laughter that rang throughout the day. No smoking, no swearing, no alcohol....just a darned good time enjoying the simple pleasures of life. No SpongeBob....no playstation....no wii...and STILL, a good time was had by all.

2008-10-06T13:19:00.000-07:00

peace, sweet peace.....

Yesterday I had some time before the arrival of a client. It was a beautiful day, so I sat my tookus down in the rocker on my landlord's porch and just listened. There were so many different melodies in the air that I could not discern which bird was singing what. Off in the distance rang the percussion of a woodpecker. The breeze was gentle and the sun was shining. Every so often, a leaf would dance delicately to the ground imitating the butterfly that was flitting out in the pasture.

So peaceful

I wondered if this was what it must have been like in Eden. I'm sure the Garden peace was magnified and the chirping opera louder, but I think I caught a glimpse...then conversation or laughter from the bicyclists or the ocassional car passing brought me back to the reality of the day reminding me how precious those glimpses truly are.

2008-09-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

...sweet spirit
It began as a whisper
A gentle calling in my ear
A breeze crossed my face and then
I was surrounded
Caught up in an all consuming
Delicate whirling
Pure essence of pleasurable serenity
And then
Quiet
Yet
A knowing
An inner dwelling place
Once empty
Now filled beyond measure
-bendy

THE WIND BLOWS WHERE IT PLEASES. YOU HEAR
THE SOUND, BUT YOU CANNOT TELL WHERE IT
COMES FROM OR WHERE IT IS GOING."
( JOHN 3:8 *NIV )

2008-09-07T13:43:00.001-07:00

rollin' with the trolls.....

Usually once a year I lose my mind and think that it would be a good idea to check out the personals and find someone to date. Silly me. You'd think I'd learn, being the smart gal that I am.

So I signed up on a popular online dating site. Now, unlike some, I'm truthful to a fault when describing myself. Blonde, hair, blue eyes, warped sense of humor, tattoo, nose stud and fat & sassy. Pretty good summation if I do say so myself.

I've found that many men view, but few actually email. Those that view and do not email are looking for someone that is of ''average build, fit, or slender." All I've got to say is good luck with that.

Here's my experience with actual respondees...(is that a word?)

One admitted to having a girlfriend but wasn't sure where the relationship was going. I later found the girlfriend AND HER THREE KIDS resided with him.

One was an adorable man that I had great chemistry with. The problem? He only wanted a sexual relationship. Well, at least he was honest.

Next? Here's a good one.... He was adamant about wanting to meet me. He wanted to meet someone with brown hair and green eyes, with an average or athletic build. Tattoos and piercings were a no no. HELLO??? Did you READ my profile? I gently reminded him of this. He said he could live with the tattoo, but asked that I remove my nose stud if we go out. Being who I am, I informed him that I am who I am and you take me as I am. Silly man...thinking I'd change. Well, he was a tough one and still insisted on going out for dinner. We had a lovely dinner and good conversation. Believe it or not, he did not pass out from the nose stud. The next day I got an email stating he felt no connection and did not want to go out again. Dude...I tried to warn you before we ever made the date.

Last but not least...I received an email from a man in Clarksville. Good Christian spirit filled man. I thought "hmmmmm let's see what he's all about." The second conversation he had he mentioned that maybe if we hit it off, he could get a massage with a happy ending. Yep...you heard me. Bendy immediately informed his hoochie azz that massage was my business...my profession...and there would be no happy endings for him or anyone else. 'Nuff said.

Yep, I've decided hanging with friends, chilling out with a good book or working with the horses is a much better way to spend my time. I also know, some time during the next year I'll wonder if things have changed and...well you know the rest of the story.

2008-08-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

oh bother.....

Bendy isn't feeling so Bendilicious as of late. I recently changed positions and migrated back into customer service as a lead person. In the work realm, customer service is my thing. However, this week I have had days where my biggest dilemma is deciding who to shoot first -- the customers calling in fussing over an inexpensive magazine subscription or a seasoned rep that lost everything out of their head that they've ever known.

Decisions, decisions.....

So this afternoon, I've tuned in to one of Maxifrog's favorite podcasts and am letting the music carry me away. The boy is amazing when it comes to finding an eclectic mix of music. So I'm listening an chillin'. This beast is getting soothed :)

"Music hath charms to soothe a savage beast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." -William Congreve

2008-08-07T11:37:00.000-07:00

check your tone.....

Email is a wonderful tool. I correspond with people all over the globe on a daily basis. That "immediacy" is so gratifying. However, there's something you cannot "get" through email like you can through a face to face conversation.....

voice inflection.

Innocent statements can be read or taken wrong in a nanosecond. Friendships can be marred by something read one way and intended another. Something meant as a joke can be taken as a slam.

So be careful out there....

2008-07-18T07:04:00.000-07:00

friday thinking....

people waiting in line for apple iphones...people waiting in line to see "the dark knight"...what are YOU waiting on?

2008-07-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

papa…is that you?

It started out simple. A book referral from a dear friend. It ended up with a tear stained face Bendy that had a very full heart.
That’s the beginning and the end.

Let’s get to the inbetween…

Yesterday a friend told me about a book she’d just finished that was the absolute best. Well, she and I are usually on the same wavelength, so after work I shot over to Border’s and picked up “The Shack.” This book is currently #1 on the best seller list. Pretty impressive. Let’s check out the meat in that sandwich to see if it’s truly up to the #1 placing.

The plot…

A story about loss. Sounds like something you’d want to read, right? Nice and depressing. Hold your horses…I’m not done. Three of the major characters (and I do mean characters) are the Holy Trinity. Yep…THE BIG THREE. Oh no…a “churchy” book!! Hang on fireball…don’t be so quick to judge! I will not share all the in’s and outs. Hopefully what I DO share will peak your interest enough that you will actually read the book.

Perception…

I can’t tell your story, but I was raised with a picture of God in my head as a man dressed in flowing white robes with long white hair and a white beard. Jesus, of course, looked just like the picture that appears somewhere in most churches, some Bibles, and of course emails these days. You know the one. Great wavy brown hair, dark, soulful eyes, and a neatly trimmed beard. (Did they have razors in those days???) As for the Holy Spirit…that was one I could never visually wrap my mind around. Those visuals can exit stage left.

Enter the Big Three of “The Shack.”

There’s Papa…A large black woman that is constantly cooking something that would make you want to slap your momma while your grandmother watched. (Okay…Southerner’s get that. Not being disrespectful to my womenfolk.) There’s Jesus, the one that wears the scruffy overalls and works a lot with his hands. He’s a little on the homely side. And finally, there’s Sarayu…there ethereal being that one can’t actually get a clear visual because she’s always moving. These three minister to Mack, who happens to be the main character that experienced loss.

The crux of the story…

Wisdom…knowledge…gaining the understanding that it isn’t all about religion. It’s about having a very meaningful, loving, deep relationship with God who is three in one. God shows himself to us in forms that we can understand…that we’re comfortable with…that we can talk to face to face and question and love. He is not intimidating, sitting up there on His throne casting judgment down upon us for messing up on a Commandment. He’s kind and loving and a listener and He speaks to us. He longs for that intimate relationship.

This book will make you laugh, make you cry and hopefully give you some insight to what Papa has wanted all along….to have a relationship with each and every one of His children.

I could not put this book down and finished it last night. For more info go to www.theshackbook.com

2008-06-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

it's all in the bag.....

It starts out when we’re little girls. We have to have a purse like mommy. Sometimes at Easter we’d even get one that matches our shoes! Of course, when we’re small, the purses are too and usually hold odds and ends such as pennies, shiny rocks, maybe a Polly Pocket or two. As we age, our purses get larger and the “innards” go from treasures to necessities like makeup, feminine hygiene products etc.

The “Queen Mother of All Purses” is the MOM purse. You could dig for days for treasure and back in the day would be sure to win a prize on “Let’s Make A Deal” for producing a random item such as a paper clip, bobbie pin, or rubber band from the deep, dark depths of the black hole.

Not much has changed as the years go by, except……

Now we have the “man purse” (known as the murse in some circles.) Yep, some guys have moved from carrying a wallet in the back pocket to carrying a man purse. My brother-in-law carries a murse. I’m not sure what all he has in there, but I’m pretty sure he could go into David mode and slay Goliath with it. In fact, the first one he had was so heavy that the strap ended up breaking. OH MY!!

Why do we feel the need to carry “stuff” around with us? Is it our safety net? Our survival kit? I’m pretty sure that if some were stranded, they could survive weeks on stuff from their purse/murse. I’m guilty of throwing all my loose change in the bottom of my purse. When I notice that it’s getting a little heavy, I’ll empty it and put the change in my change jar. Once I counted $11 in change. ELEVEN DOLLARS! Do you know how heavy $11 in change is??? (hanging head)

Maybe someday we’ll realize that it’s just “stuff” and not a necessary evil. Ladies will carry the bare necessities in a clutch and men will go back to having a lump on one side of their butt.

2008-06-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

"snortworthy".....

You know what I'm talking about. Someone says or does something and you laugh so hard you snort, which only makes things funnier and chances are, you'll snort again. The initial snort might even cause whatever substance your friends are drinking to shoot out their nose from the hilarity...thus more snorting. It's a viscious cycle.

My aunt is the queen of snorting. Get her on a roll and you can usually get 2 or three out before she can stop. It's great! Of course, the older I get, bladder control might be another factor. Not going there...

Well, today Max & I were exchanging emails about podcasts. He'd sent me a link to one he had juice around today. I emailed back the following....

"Find me one for funk..."

You know...Brick House sort of stuff. I got an email back stating he had to read the line several times before reading it right. I "got it" and came very close to snorting, thus the blog :)

2008-05-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

flippin' n' dippin'....

They’re everywhere you turn. Young men on street corners flipping signs of advertisement in hopes of grabbing your attention. Masters of the board flip. They twirl, they spin, they wrap their boards around their bodies and back into a twirl.

Eye catching? Indeed. However, I have yet to be spurned into buying a mattress, a new home or a car from excitement induced by a “flipper.”
Who thought this was a good idea? How much do they pay these kids to display their skills? Has anyone done a study of the business resulting from a flipper? I’m doubting it.

2008-05-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

there's a change in the air.....

I returned from my trip yesterday. A long, 4 day weekend is delicious. As much as I enjoyed my time away, I missed the joys of my home as well.

I unloaded my car and then went out to embrace my surroundings and visit with the horses. Yesterday was incredibly blustery. The temperature dropped enough that even this hot natured gal had to don a jacket. The old tree at the corner of the main house was creaking and moaning like the aged.

The horses were in the lower pasture, heads bent, chomping grass like there was no tomorrow. Suddenly, I suppose the change in the air hit just right and the peaceful scene in front of me changed to full blown energy. Heads thrown up, nostrils flared and away they went. There’s something so awesome about watching all that muscle power in motion. I stood just watching the show. They ran all over the pasture several times and finally quieted. I walked to the back fence and waited patiently. The sorrel looked at me, threw his head in the air, muscled his chest out and headed straight for the fence where I was standing. It was an incredible sight. He stopped at the fence and looked at me as if to say “I’m ready for my carrot now please.” And that is exactly what he got. In fact, both of them scored carrots as they always do.

After the treat, the equines wandered off to graze and I stood mesmerized as I watched the grass in the bottom pasture. The tall grass seemed to be dancing as the wind whipped through it.

A flash of blue whizzed by me and on to parts unknown. There are several bluebirds that have built out in various trees and posts.

As the chill dug deeper, I turned and walked toward the house…my “ahhhhh” moment tucked away to be pulled out on another day.

2008-05-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

i'm already there.....

Today is my last day of the work week. I'm leaving tomorrow for Arkansas and will not return until Sunday. As often happens, my mind is already on vacation. It's packed up and currently cruising. Try as I might, I cannot seem to get a whole heck of a lot accomplished.

The purpose of my visit is college graduation for my oldest. I'm so very proud of her. She's grown into the most amazing young woman. I remember the day she was born and all the days inbetween. The ups and downs, excitement and disappointments...everything that has molded her into who she is today. She's going to be one amazing teacher! It's sometimes difficult for me to wrap my mind around the fact that she's a grown up. After all....I'm still 25 ;)

2008-04-16T11:24:00.000-07:00

boo-tube.....

I enjoy checking out utube videos and being exposed to new music, or a giggling kid or cute puppy or my daughter dancing in a school production etc. These are things that make me smile. (I almost broke into Julie Andrews singing "My Favorite Things.")

What I DON'T enjoy is the latest vindictive postings such as a gaggle of girls beating the crap out of one of their "friends" for posting something on her MySpace, or the lastest.... the vile rantings of a wife who's in the middle of divorce proceedings.

Life happens. Someone gets angry and posts something unflattering on their website. It's a mistake that will be regreted. Men and women sometimes go through very ugly divorces. There's pain and heart ache, and again, regret of some issues will follow. WHY make things worse by posting what can only be described as "crap" in the heat of the moment? Take some time, take a breath and cool down.

On the other side...WHY do viewers take such pleasure in watching this stuff? Does it make them feel better about themselves? Does it continue to roll and spurn more vile ideas in the video voyeurs themselves?

Yes, we're blessed with the right of free speach. However, God gave us a conscience. It would behoove us to use it :)

2008-04-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

let the water come and carry us away….

I went back home March 15 – 23. “Home” is Ozark, Missouri, nestled snugly between Branson and Springfield. I went back for a much needed week of relaxation and to visit my friends and family, of course.

It started raining on Monday. Down, down, down it came with no stopping in sight. Finally, the clouds parted and the skies cleared on Wednesday morning. Relief! I’m thinking this quite possibly could be how Noah felt once the rains ceased. My dad checked his rain gauge…8.5 inches. YOWZA! That’s a lot of water!

Fortunately, the folks live high on a hill with no danger of flooding. Others were not so lucky. The Finley River runs through my small town. Several homes and businesses were invaded with murky flood waters. The Ozark Park, conveniently located along the banks of the Finley, flooded big time. Thankfully, the waters seemed to recede as quickly as they rose, leaving a huge mess behind…dirt, rock, huge chunks of asphalt that had broken from the roads, tree limbs, and of course a bevy of rubbish. The community began cleanup and it was just another day.

Flooding is rarely, if ever, looked at as a good thing. Damage? Yes. However, the sludge is brought to the top and disposed of. The result – a much needed cleansing.

Comparatively, a spiritual flood is much like a physical flood. The junk…the trash…the unsightly…rises to the top and is carried away by the blood of Jesus. Can I get a “hallelujah?”

2008-02-28T07:46:00.000-08:00

waste not...want not

I take my learnin’ anywhere I can get it….books…internet….word of mouth….Oprah.

“Freegans.” This is the new term I learned from the O show yesterday. Wikipedia defines this lifestyle as follows:

Freeganism is an anti-consumerism lifestyle whereby people employ alternative living strategies based on "limited participation in the conventional economy and minimal consumption of resources. Freegans embrace community, generosity, social concern, freedom, cooperation, and sharing in opposition to a society based on materialism, moral apathy, competition, conformity, and greed.” The lifestyle involves salvaging discarded, unspoiled food from supermarket dumpsters that have passed their sell by date, but are still edible and nutritious. They salvage the food not because they are poor or homeless, but as a political statement.

Interesting huh? There was a young couple from Nashville on the show. He’s a doctor and she’s a civil engineer. They could purchase anything they want easily, but choose to “dumpster dive” at grocery stores for food and anything else salvageable. Let me tell you, it blew my mind. Their refrigerator was full of produce….beautiful produce. They had frozen pizzas in their freezer and a cabinet full of canned goods. They had a case of cereal in their pantry…name brand cereal. They had salvaged an ab roller and several tables. Their philosophy was that it’s better to use everything that you can or find someone that can use it, than fill up a land fill with it. I tend to agree with them. Another lady on the show had hit the mother load of coffee…..100 1lb bags of premium coffee beans. Her freezer was full and she’d shared with many friends. Her question? “Do coffee beans ever really go bad??????” Good point. What do you think happens to the egg cartons that have a broken egg? Yup...off to the dumpster they go.

I must admit, I got a little angry when I saw all the “good” food that had been pitched by the grocery stores. I realize that they have to abide by regulations, etc. but it still gave me the red ass. That food could all be taken to shelter to help feed the homeless. We have hungry people in every city in the United States yet we’d rather send food to rot in a land fill than feed them. Sad isn’t it?

I think the Freegans just may be on to something. Am I going to start dumpster diving? One never knows……

2008-02-22T13:31:00.000-08:00

tinnnnnnnnnnnn roooof.....rusted

My little place of heaven in the country sports a green tin roof. When it rains, I say "ahhhhh" and snuggle down deeper in the covers (if I'm in bed that is.) The funny thing with a tin roof...it's difficult to discern whether it's simply sprinkling or "coming a gulley washer" as my grandpa used to say. It all basically sounds the same.

My abode also has 2 skylights just outside of the loft area. The other day the weather was beautiful and a little windy. The sky was filled with billowy clouds of cotton. I sat down on my sofa for a minute and laid my head back. The wind was herding the clouds like sheep across the sky view. It was lovely to watch and addicting to the point that I ended up getting rather loopy. Of course, this cracked me up. If you can't laugh at yourself, you need to work on that....

2008-02-14T13:26:00.000-08:00

another one bites the dust....

I've almost made it through another one. I'm on the downward side of the day celebrated by lovers all over the world...Valentine's Day.

This was my grandmother and great aunt's birthday. A special day for two special ladies who are now walking with the Father.

When I was a kid, this was such an exciting time at school. We'd make our special boxes and fill out our Valentines and make a day of it. As I got older, there were cards or flowers from someone special.

These days it's "Let's get this day over with already!" It can be a difficult day for single guys and gals. We see others smile as flowers arrive and hear excited chatter about what the night ahead may bring. Don't get me wrong...I get very excited right along with them and delight in their joy. It really does give me pleasure.

Yet, there's an emptiness in the pit of my stomach that my sandwich from Subway did not fill. HOWEVER....there are two sweeties at home that may let me love on them and fill that void a bit. They have the biggest brown, soulful eyes, a whimsical spirit, and 4 hooves :)

Happy Valentine's Day to all. If you don't have a significant other, hopefully you have a four legged friend.

2008-02-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

arghhhhhhhhhh.....

I'm moving. I've been a Boro dweller for 16 years. I've lived through the metamorphasis of a sleepy little laid back town to a booming Nashville suburb. When we first moved here, the closest grocery store to our home was too far away to buy ice cream and make it back home without it melting (unless it was winter.) Now it seems there's a Kroger or Publix on every corner. After commuting 45 minutes 1 way for the past 4 years, I'm going to have a 15 minute commute. This makes Bendy very happy. Even better...my new home is in the country. My neighbors are..... (ready for this?) neighhhhhhhhhhhbors (of the equine variety.) Sweet peace. This is delicious.

However, there is one problem. I hate moving. I settle in and do not want to budge. There's another problem. I'm an avid procrastinator. A laid back, type B that never gets in a hurry to do anything. This is just a well known factor of my life. The last box will be taped shut Saturday morning before I leave to get the UHaul. I've been informed that bets are being taken that there will be lots still left to pack when the crew arrives. (SHUT YO' MOUTH!)

Thankfully, I'm blessed with good friends that are going to spare some of their sacred Saturday to help me move my gaggle of belongings from Rutherford to Williamson County. Maximus is lending a hand, although I think he's secretly hoping to procure some major blogging material (wink). All I know is I will just be thankful when the move is completed and I can begin this new part of the journey in Bendy's World....

2008-02-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

prioritize....

As long as I have my basic needs met (food, clothes, shelter), I’m a happy camper. I’m every man’s dream. I hate to shop and I want for nothing. (yup, still single.) A divorced mother of two, learned to live on a shoestring due to unwise spending of my ex. Another story for another day.

For several weeks, as I drove to work, I’ve noticed a new Hummer sitting in the drive of a residence. This residence is a dated, but well kept duplex. The first time I spotted the Hummer, I thought someone must be visiting. Nope…it’s parked in the drive every day.

Call me crazy, but if I had the bucks to pay the payment on a Hummer, I’d much rather buy a home and downsize the ride. I don’t “get” it. Overcompensation perhaps? Little Man Syndrome? Or, to be fair…possibly a babysitter. However, if one could afford a Hummer, would one babysit? Methinks not ;)

2008-01-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

if only......

Think back to when you were in kindergarten. Remember that part of the day when you went to the closet, pulled out your mat and took a little rest? I'm feeling that right now. What would it be like if, every day at 2:00 everyone in the office pulled out their nap mat and rested for an hour? Heck, I'd even settle for 30 minutes! Imagine the various volumes and different tones of snoring that would arise from cubicles or sneak out office doors. Imagine awaking refreshed and ready to finish the day on a strong note. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2008-01-04T19:44:00.000-08:00

i've lost my filter...oh my!!

Oh where, oh where has my filter gone? Oh where oh where can it be? You know, there was a time when Bendy was a nice, quiet, somewhat introverted gal (quit laughing Max.) Through the years, I have found my voice. I speak from the truth of who I am. Nothing wrong with that!

However, as I've aged, I've also lost my tolerance for those who "misrepresent." Okay, let's call a spade a spade...I have no tolerance for bullsheet.

Sitting in a cube farm, I hear lots of things whether I want to or not. As of late, I've found such phrases as "it's getting deep in here" or "my bs meter is going off" just rolling off my tongue loud enough for anyone to hear. Do you think this is a bad thing? In Bendy's world it isn't. I feel if someone's called out on bs, then in time it will lessen from rolling from their lips. At least I hope this is the case. I realize that there are some that have spewed bs for so long, they actually believe what they are saying. Sad really.

I will continue to do my part boldly and without filter ;)

2008-01-02T08:57:00.000-08:00

it was a white chocolate mocha morning…..

Christmas is over. Presents opened, paper trashed.

New Year’s Eve has come and gone….

I drove in today in the cold and enjoyed the flurry of snowflakes that danced in the wind. Back to the office; business as usual. It seemed as if nothing had changed. However, that is simply not the case…

In the Biblical, seven is the number that represents completion. Wrapping things up. Finishing. Eight represents new beginnings. Are you hearing me? NEW BEGININGS! Forget about the old. Bring on the new!!

My new beginning starts next Tuesday night with a new quarter of school. I’ll also be moving to Franklin in February…another new beginning. I pray this year is full of marvels and wonders, peace, much joy and love.

2007-12-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

turn the letters, vanna.....

They say two things are certain....death and taxes. In Bendy's world, there are two more certainties.... My dad watches "The Price is Right" every morning and both my parents watch "Wheel of Fortune" every evening. I have learned not to call around 6:30, because my mom will be chatting with me and blurt out the answer to the puzzle mid sentence. "Yes, we took a ride down to CHILI WITH CRACKERS! It can be a very entertaining conversation as you can imagine.

When the folks started watching "Deal or No Deal" I had to threaten to have it blocked from their cable package. They were having heated arguments over the suitcases for cryin' out loud! Thankfully, that has settled down.

I called mom last night after my final to tell her how I scored. Two sentences into the conversation, I noticed she wasn't paying attention, which spurned me to say "What's on tv?" The reply? "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"

I GIVE UP!

2007-11-30T13:55:00.000-08:00

can't live with 'em....can't live without 'em.....

The Fair Weather Friend: These are the folks that only contact you if they want something, such as to borrow money, enlist your babysitting skills, know that you own a truck etc. They will make plans with you and cancel at the last minute or never show up at all (usually because they got a “better offer.”)

The High Maintenance Friend: Can tend to be on the “clingy” side at times. They are thrown into a frenzy of worry if you don’t answer their phone call or email, instantly assuming something is “wrong” or that you’re dead.

The Green Eyed Monster Friend: Cannot understand why you’d ever need another friend since you have them! Tries to undermine any friendships/relationships you may have and keep you all to themselves.

The Lifer: These are the folks that stand by you through thick and thin. They’ll bail you out, hold your hair while you puke, cry when you cry, laugh when you laugh, help you plot against your ex, willing to take your first born if you croak, etc. They’ll tell you that you dress funny and if you have something in your teeth. No matter how many miles may separate you, the distance between hearts is not far.

I’ve experienced friends in each category. Fortunately, I am blessed with many “Lifer’s” and cherish them deeply.

2007-11-21T11:20:00.000-08:00

tofurkey or not tofurkey...that is the question

It's that time of the year again. Tomorrow, mother's, grandmothers, wives (and a few good men) will rise at the butt crack of dawn to put the bird in the oven. Throughout the day, the smells of turkey, pies, veggies and the like will waft through the house tempting taste buds and activating salavary glands. Hours of preparation lead to maybe 20 minutes of grubbing and "overstuffery."

We had our Thanksgiving work luncheon yesterday. One vegetarian was going to bring in tofurkey. I'll try just about anything once. I looked, but never spied it. Give me the real thing please.

Everyone's Thanksgiving experience is a little different. Some spend the holiday with family; some with friends. Some cook a ginormous meal while other's hit Cracker Barrel. At some point in our lives, however, we've all experienced "the kids' table." Last night, a friend of mine was at the house and I asked him what he was doing for Thanksgiving. He said "Going to Maw maw's" then related this story. "Maw maw has this huge, round table that many people can sit around. Me? I'm still stuck at the kids' table! Nobody will die so I can move up!! 35 years old and at the kids' table!" I howled.

Regardless of your experience this year, whether it be a day filled with cooking, a meal at the Cracker Barrel, or a seat at the kids' table, have a wonderful Thanksgiving and reflect upon your blessings.

Peace and love

2007-11-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

to the victor go the spoils....

Interaction between man and dog is always interesting to watch. Dog will do anything to please man and man, at times, tries to get one over on dog.

Case in point….

My favorite teacher of all time shared this story last night. His girlfriend lives out in the country and has beagles. One Snoop in particular loves to race cars down the dirt road to the last fence post on the property. Once he beats the car, he pees on the post as a victory. “I WIN! I WIN!”

So….

Being the warped individual that he is, one day said teacher caught Snoop off guard, ripped out of the driveway and down the dirt road well ahead of the tail wagger. He jumped out of his truck, ran to the last fence post and….well…you know the rest. In the meantime, here comes Snoop in a dead run. Nearing his destination, he sees the two legger doing…well…you know. Not believing his eyes, he screeches to a dead stop, gives the two legger a look, then rolls over on his back in defeat while his counterpart did the victory dance to the tune of “I win! I win!”

I must say, I found this very funny. The visual was priceless!

2007-10-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

keep it real.....

Something was revealed to me today. It was unintentional on the part of the other party. However, the ugliness unwittingly rose to the surface. Someone I have known for the better part of 6 years failed to share something with me….a very important little detail. Lying by omission is still lying. A friendship may not recover.

I have a low tolerance for untruthfulness. I experienced a lot of it in my past. Basically, I got a gut full. I would much rather be given the truth in any and all circumstances. Hurting from truth is a lot less painful that hurting from an elaborate web of lies that wraps itself around you, leaving you in wait for the life to be sucked out of you.

In my Client/Therapist class last quarter, I learned a great deal about speaking from the truth of who I am. It’s very empowering and people always know where they stand when they’re in your presence. Try it….it works.

2007-10-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

displacement.....

I drive down Wilson Pike Circle to get to school. Monday night I had to stop at the rail road crossing not to allow a train to pass, but to wait for two very large does to cross. Behind them....a lush field of nothing but green. Ahead...businesses and the traffic of Brentwood. I've been thinking about this scenario all week.

A child's first day at preschool (or any school for that matter.) The first day at a new job. A man or woman who's been served divorce papers. Someone who's found out their job has been done away with. Anyone who hears the words "It's cancer." This is all displacement. Traveling from a place of safety into the uncertainty of the unknown.

The deer had the opportunity to turn around and return to the lushness of the field. Humans are rarely afforded that luxury. This thought of displacement has been heavy on my spirit this week. So much so that when I see someone that is moving from safety into fear of the unknown, I've decided to do what I can to make that transition easier....even if it simply means a hand on a shoulder, a hug, a smile or comforting words.

2007-10-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

memories...light the corners of my mind

My favorite aunt is 16 years older than me. She toted me around (or "hipped" me as she calls it) until I got too big to carry.

We lived in Springfield, MO when I was young and on the square was this fabulous movie theater called The Fox.

The very best thing about The Fox Theater was the fact that it had a balcony!! My aunt took me to see every Disney movie that came out and, you guessed it, we would hit the balcony. The view was just so great from up there! Lady & The Tramp, The Jungle Book and every Herbie movie ever made looked amazing from our vantage point. The balcony was a world of it's own and when I visit my childhood memories, this is one of my all time favorites.

When my children were small, I made it a point to purchase all the great old Disney movies on VHS in hopes my children would share in some of that same magic I experienced. To them, the living room and mom's lap was every bit as magical as that balcony was to me.

The Fox Theater has been closed for years now. What I wouldn't give for one more viewing from that special place.

2007-10-11T10:12:00.000-07:00

thursday giggles and grins....

Because of my warped sense of humor, I find the majority of these hysterically funny!

Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

2007-10-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

western medicine vs. the holistic approach...

Tuesday, a lymph node on the back of my neck became inflamed. By the next day, pain was shooting up the back of my head. Now, I know a lot of things and what I don't know, I look up. In 46 years of life, I know enough to know I've got some kind of infection.

So yesterday at lunch I run to the Vanderbilt Walk-in Clinic that is close to the office. Convenient AND they take my insurance. I complete the paperwork and am called into the back in just a matter of minutes. The nurse takes my vitals and I tell her what's going on with me. She steps out and in a matter of minutes, the doctor is with me. This is going great! Give me a 'script for antibiotics and let me go already! He does the standard quiz, looks in my throat and ears, listens to my breathing and sits back down to zap of a 'script to the local Walgreen's. Does he give me antibiotics? No. NO??? He gives me a decongestant/expectorant and Nasonex. Nevermind that my head is clear and snot free. Okay...he's gone to school. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Walgreens and $54 later, I'm cussing him like a sailor. I take my meds and pray for healing.

This morning.....

Still in pain AND another lymph node below my ear is swollen so large that I resemble Quasi Moto!!! Oh heck to the no! Bendy, this one is up to you and God. So I look through my essential oils and grab the eucalyptus. I slather it all over the swelling and finish getting ready for work. Hmmmmm guess what? ALL my swelling is almost gone. The oil opened up the nodes and allowed drainage of the infection. I can't take credit for it...that goes to the Big Guy. However, the next time before I fork over a $30 copay and $54 for meds, I'm trying the natural approach!!

2007-09-30T16:39:00.000-07:00

the wonderful world of dating.....NOT!!!

I've been divorced for seven years. Most of the time, I'm fine being alone. My job and school keep me busy. However, a couple of weeks ago I went through a bout of lonliness and lost my mind for a minute. Yep....I filled out a profile on Yahoo Personals. (GASP!)

I received notification that my profile had been viewed. With excited anticipation, I signed in! Could the man of my dreams be waiting for an email response? There were several that could have appeared as extras in "Deliverance." Now hold up! I know that looks and having all your teeth aren't everything and it's what's inside that counts so don't go dissin' me already. Anyway, after a day or two, things looked up a little. I did end up going on an actual date with a very nice man last Saturday night. I enjoyed his company and he was a gentleman. He asked to cut our date short because he had a bit of a drive and was in no mood to sit and listen to loud music. I assured him that was fine and I was home by 9:30. This same man wanted to come to my house this weekend for sex.

HELLO??????

Needless to say, I thanked him again for the lovely time and told him that speaking from a place of honesty, there was not spark for me and we needed to part ways.

I've had men from Georgia and Illinois email me. I live in middle Tennessee. I work and go to school in Middle Tennessee. Sorry...I rather like it here. Then there are the men that send a "conversation starter" such as "your profile made me smile." Fantastic! I email back to start a conversation and never ever get a response. This is not grade school. This is adult land and in adult land do not send a note unless you're willing to reciprocate with conversation. (I'm beginning to sound jaded, aren't I...)

A rocking chair on the front porch and a hound dog sleeping at my feet is looking rather attractive these days!

2007-09-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

flip flops 'n jammie pants.....

I ran in to town yesteday to do a little shopping for my youngest daughter's birthday. She will be 16 on Thursday. Anyway, I pull into a parking space and notice a young lady exiting the store. She was wearing...you guessed it...flip flops and jammie pants. Is this an acceptible mode of public attire? If so, when did it happen? I never received the memo! Now, I've been seen in sweats and no makeup after leaving the gym on many occasions. I pray the entire time that no one I know sees me, because it sure isn't pretty. However, I have never purposely gone anywhere (other than to bed) in jammie pants.

If this attire is acceptible, what's next? Underoos??? (Maximus, do NOT get any ideas. I know how you roll.)

That's all I got today, people :)

2007-09-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

inner child....

Think back to the early days of your childhood
Before the time when wounds began
When life was simple
Everything was fascinating
Fireflies were magical and no matter how many you caught, it was never enough.
Shooting stars were amazing.
Playing tag was innocent and fun.
You could never laugh too much and sleep was overrated.
TV was boring and outside was an adventure waiting to happen.
That child is still within
Take time to nurture
Take time to love
Take time to have fun
You are worthy….

2007-08-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

excitement :)

I got word yesterday that I was approved for the "Leaving The Cocoon" mentoring program. I just have to go through training, then I will be assigned to a lady at the women's prison annex. I'll meet with her every other week for 6 months while she's on the inside, then I will continue to meet with her for an additional 6 months upon release.

I am so humbled that I will be allowed to be a positive influence in someone's life. Someone who's been on a rocky path. I pray for guidance and enlightenment on this leg of my journey.

2007-08-27T09:42:00.001-07:00

who done it???

I treated myself Saturday. I got a much needed hair cut AND took a tip from my friend Maximus and got my eyebrows waxed.

As I lay back in the chair, the technician applied nice, warm, yummy wax to my eyebrows. Ohhhhhhh it felt so good. Then she applied the waxing strip. Again, another feel good.

THEN….

She ripped the hair right off my face. YOWZA!! Okay, we all know it isn’t unbearable pain by any means.

My question is this….who the heck was sitting around bored one afternoon and thought “hey, I think I’ll use some wax and see if I can rip the hair right off my face?” WHO????? All I can say is it is much more user friendly than the good ol’ Epilady!

2007-08-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

Static CLING and giggles.....

Not an informative blog...not one to make you think. Just another occurance in Bendy's World.

Yesterday I rode with friends to meet other friends at a church in the Brentwood/Franklin area. A friend, Tod Bell, was speaking and we were there for love and support. There was an entire row of us. After the service, I remained seated with my friends' two sons while the rest went to man a table out front to sell Tod's book. The boys and I had a great time together. They're 3 and 10, very intelligent and lots of fun.

After folks had cleared and left for home and Sunday dinner, I took the boys and walked out to the table while the others were packing up. I could feel something hitting against the skin above my ankle. I knew my capris didn't have any type of ties and I couldn't figure out what the heck it was. I gave my foot a little shake and looked down. There, looking up at me, were a pair of my underwear that had obviously become trapped during time in the dryer and had just BROKEN FREE!

I bent over and quickly wadded the "escapees" up in my hand and pushed them into my purse. I knew I couldn't laugh, because once it started, it wouldn't end.

One last thing....

As the minister was introducing my friend, he spoke about the church getting "out of the box." His words?

Wait for it....

Wait for it....

"No more boxes! No more DRAWERS!"

I so enjoy God's rich sense of humor ;)

2007-08-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Baby Boom!!!

In my workplace, there are three pregnant woman and Josh, who's wife is pregnant. Personally, I'm staying clear of the water cooler and doubling up on the birth control!

These are first children for all parties envolved. I think back 21 years to MY first. She was 12 days overdue. Miss Kylie was rather comfortable where she was, thank you very much. I had gone from the anxiety and fear to the "get her out of there" mode. At 8:36 a.m. on April 30, 9 lbs. 2 oz. of beauty changed my life forever. Jesika followed 5 years later. She didn't want to come out either!

My oldest bundle of joy spent the night with me last night on her way back to school. We had a wonderful time and laughed until I thought we were both going to pee our pants. I thought about calling my mother this morning and asking her when I changed from a pain in the fanny teenager to a joy in her life. I thought again...wasn't sure I wanted to hear that answer. lol

Josh went to the doctor with his wife this morning. Just a few minutes ago he stuck his head around the corner of my cube and said "She's going in at midnight. Weston will be here tomorrow." I looked into the eyes of a 6'6" bundle of joy and nervousness and unsurity and fear and told him it would be alright .

Children are our joy, and our pain, and our delight. I'll soon be hearing stories of these four new lives and the impact they will have on their parents. Toys flushed, walls colored, wounds stiched...the list never ends!

2007-08-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

Thought "PROVOKING"

I read the Daily News Journal online to check out what's going on in my neck of the woods. Usually, it's not a whole heck of a lot, which is why I don't purchase a subscription to the paper. After each article, there's an opportunity for comments/feedback. If used correctly, this would be a great venue to gather information and check out the feelings of the local demographic.

In some instances, this is the case. Unfortunately, in most instances, the "pot stirrers" take over. This is especially the case if the article is regarding illegals or something to do with city council. These "pot stirrers" show no mercy, making statements with the sole intention of getting a rise out of someone. In many cases, what they've stated is not even their belief, but utilized to get temperatures raised and get a bite back.

This is becoming more and more of a common theme in feedback forums. If you have killed some time browsing Craig's List, you'll see plenty of pot stirrers at work. For about a minute, it can be entertaining. However, for me, I find it a ridiculous waste of time. The effort could be put toward serious informative conversations where parties could actually have a thought provoking read.

And that's my thought for the day.....

2007-08-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

Alka-Seltzer? Pepto? Anyone? Anyone?

I gave up soda on July 31. All soda. The real stuff, the fake stuff, ALL of it. Now, I have attempted this in the past and have failed horribly. This time it is just gone. The cravings never came. Now when I even think about drinking a Coke I gag thinking about how sweet it would taste. Has to be a "God thing." Soda has always been a part of Bendy's world.

I say that to say this...

Last night our marketing group had a little get-to-gether. They brought the left over grub in to share today. I took it as long as I could then got a piece of the chocolate cake. A mass of gooey chocolate goodness. It was beckoning me with that "come hither" look. Chocolate cake is the DEVIL. Just let me tell you...an influx of sugar after removing most of it from one's life is not a good thing. I swear I just heard my stomach say "What the heck was THAT? Please don't do it again!!!" I also feel the smidge of a headache in my right temple. Next time I'll break out the Holy Water and resist the temptation. Well, I will most certainly try ;)

2007-07-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

Beyond measure......

I had the best Saturday that I've had in a very long time. I wasn't sure what to expect. Sometimes I set my expectations too high, then am disappointed. This was not the case.

The Nashville Women's Prison Annex held a "Day of Beauty" on Saturday. There were booths set up for manicures, pedicures, makeup, hair, foot baths/foot massages, and chair massages. Each lady was given a gift bag that included full size shampoo, conditioner, body wash, tooth brush, and a various assortment of small items. Everything was donated...even the actual bag itself. These gift bags were treasured as if they contained all the riches of the world. Some tears were shed out of thankfulness.

I was one of the volunteers for chair massage. There were 3 of us. We were one of the most popular booths to say the very least. I have no idea how many bodies I had beneath my hands between 12:00 & 4:00, but I know it was a LOT! We had an incredible time. These women were some of the funniest, loving and caring individuals that I have met in some time. There were times when we were all laughing....there were times when there was silence because the gals were so relaxed. There were some tears from simply being touched. They all suffered from touch depravity. When I simply laid my hand on a shoulder or back, I could feel "melting." I fell in love with each and every one of them. This day boosted self esteem like one could never imagine. Over and over again we heard "You guys are such a blessing. Thank you for giving up your Saturday to spend time with us." If they only knew we weren't giving up anything. We were being blessed beyond our comprehension.

There was a concert and words of appreciation at 4:00. The women gathered out on the lawn in front of the entrance to the service building. Standing inside looking out over the sea of faces, I saw so much joy. As the Christian singer sang, many wept openly and some raised hands in worship. Their spirit reached within me hugging my heart. As we left, several that we'd ministered to grabbed us and hugged us deeply thanking us once more.

It was a day that I wish to repeat many times over.....

2007-07-15T18:41:00.000-07:00

Self Care...

I'm a care giver. That's what I do. Most massage therapists fall in this category. Wounded healers if you will. Looking back into my history, it became very clear that I put everyone's needs before my own. This, in itself, is not a bad thing. However, if you do not have a well to draw from to replinish your own needs when your well is running dry, things tend to fall apart. In my case, it was the darkness of depression. Days of just not caring merged with days where it was a struggle to get out of bed. For those that suffer with depression, I deeply feel your pain.

Fortunately, I climbed out of the depression pit and into the sunlight. I still put other's needs before mine in most cases. The difference now lies in the fact that I know when I need to take care of me. Yesterday was one of those "me" days. I did not step foot out of the house. I read, I watched mindless tv, I napped, I took a bubble bath, and I did not answer my phone (much to the frustration of my friend I'll refer to as the non-blonde.) This is what I needed. This is what my body and mind craved in order to recharge my batteries. Today I explained to the non-blonde that I was fine...just taking some time for me. She was relieved that something disasterous had not happened to me.

This afternoon, I gave a massage. I gave 100%. Long, smooth, nurturing strokes. Comfort flowing from my hands into the body of another. It was healing for both of us, only because I've found that "balance." My harmony. I know when I need to take care of me.

In my "me" time, I also made another self discovery. In every relationship I've been in, I've been the giver. My parter received the comfort, nurturing, support and love.....then they'd walk out the door and leave me...an empty vessel. "No more!" is the cry of Bendy. Awareness is stoked up on high. The giving must be a two way street going forward. My dear friends, Maximus & Pickle have that balance...that harmony. They're in the flow. Thank you both for setting such a good example of what a relationship should be :)

2007-07-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

During my drive to work, I pass several stables. One has several mares with their Spring foals in various fenced areas. I love to watch the babies grow.

The last one I pass is a Walking Horse Stable. Almost every morning, there are one or two grooms out working the horses. I am forever tempted to pull over and just watch. To me, watching these horses is like watching music. The syncopation of the head nod and the high stepping front legs in conjunction with the smooth, solid steps of the hind legs is like a jazzy sax accompanied by a string bass. I’m thinking I may have to go to the Celebration this year.

2007-07-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

when monkeys fly.......

So my work world is spent in a cube these days. A nice cube...but a cube nonetheless. Concentration is pricked by conversations that bleed into one another. Several months ago I received a link to a site that had all kinds of fun gadgets. One that particularly caught my eye...

The Screaming Monkey

Apparently you hook your fingers into this little guys paws, pull back on his body like a sling shot, and send him flying. As he sails, he busts loose with a shrill "scream." Now how much fun would that be?

When the gabbing starts getting to me, I fantasize about partnering up with the monkey....aiming over the cubes and LETTING HIM FLY!!! Tell me THAT visual didn't make you smile :)

2007-06-13T12:45:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go?

When I was a child, I remember hearing comments from my elders regarding the quick passing of time. I thought they were out of their minds. Time, for me, seemed to drag on and on and on. Christmas break seemed like months and was greatly enjoyed.

Now...I'm one of "them."

I had my last Swedish class last night. WHAT???? It's been 10 weeks already? Are you KIDDING me? It seemed like only last week I walked into class wondering if I had what it takes to give someone a good massage. Jitters long gone, I feel confident in my skills.

I have a break until July 10, then it's two more classes to begin :)

2007-06-11T09:45:00.001-07:00

Rant from a crazy white woman....

A tearful Paris Hilton taken back to the pokey as she cries out for her mother. Give me a break. Do people really hang on the edge of their seats to hear this drivel? You screwed up…do your time and learn from it. ‘Nuff said. But noooooooooo! This must be dragged out in the news on a daily basis.

I’m seeing a news flash….. “Huge zit in the middle of Bendy’s forehead. Will she be a new spokes model for PROACTIVE? Film at 11:00.” I think that story could compete with the Hilton crisis don’t you?

2007-06-05T14:26:00.000-07:00

TALK SOUP.....

So recently I was moved from my office to a cublicle in order for someone with a penis to take my space. I'm now in a penis free zone...but that's another blog. So my cubicle is very nice and spacious and lovely for a cube. I even moved my palm tree along, so I'm very easy to find in cube city.

The one adjustment I am having difficulty with is the noise level. I hear accounting conversations, marketing conversations, etc. Okay, so this is to be expected,

However....

I do not need to know the bathroom habits of my cube neighbor's dog; what her parents are doing for the day; what her husband is doing; what various friends are up to. Yep....I've acquired a new ACW.

My best friend has an office behind me. She's been on vacation for a week. It has been quiet and I have missed her. She returned today along with her anger music which invades my thoughts.

I think I shall head to class and enjoy a massage. Tomorrow is another day :)

2007-05-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

Down with the sickness......

I am very rarely sick. That being said, I woke up last Wednesday with a cold. I guess it's a cold. I could say 'upper respiratory infection' which is still just a fancy name for a cold. Thankfully I believe I'm on the upswing. Last night was a booger. I couldn't sleep for coughing, so I'm basically a waste of skin today with Bea Arthur's voice. No singing for me!

2007-05-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

Sing oh my soul
My joy rises
To mix
With the heavenly bodies
Stirred
Intermingled
With angels’ wings
Blessed by the breath of God

2007-05-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

Ranting.....

Every day I experience a four way stop. Would someone PLEASE explain to me why something so simple seems to be so difficult for some people? Hello? You take turns in the order of who stops first. Seemingly every day, someone decides that they're going to take my turn. Now I know, this is a little thing in the game of life. However, if I were not one that paid great attention, this could end in disaster. I've altered my route to avoid the morning road rage of I65. Now this. I guess I will look at it as the lesser of two evils, grit my teeth and keep my eyes open for the Sneaky Petes that shoot forth out of turn....God love 'em.

2007-04-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

A work in progress.....

I have a weakness or three. I have a low tolerance for stupidity. I also have a low tolerance for those that rattle on nonstop without anything "of value" to say. I wrestled with this over the weekend.

I don't like feeling this way. I don't like the immediate urge I feel to turn my head and roll my eyes or to have the thought "give me a break...how stupid is that" running through my head. It's not NICE and I'm a nice person!

I started thinking about this shortcoming of mine over the weekend. Jesus doesn't roll his eyes or think "here we go again" when we talk to Him. He loves each and every one of us, warts and all. Thank goodness for THAT or I'd be in trouble BIGTIME.

So I'm working on being more tolerant of others...looking at others through Jesus eyes. It won't be easy, but I have a feeling it will be greatly rewarding :)

2007-04-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

Giggles...

Cracking your ownself up is just the best, and I do it frequently.

My sister has two "wiener dawgs" named Max & Rudy. She was having a time keeping a collar on Max, because Rudy kept chewing them off of him, so she bought him this thin little leather collar with spikes. Okay...seeing a wiener dog sporting spikes is a giggle in itself.

**sidebar** My sister had noticed that a mouse had been stealing food from "the boys." We discussed this when I was at her house on vacation and I told her that if it didn't stop, the mouse was going to end up being as large as "the boys."

This morning, she noticed Max's spike collar was gone. Couldn't find it anywhere. I told her I bet the mouse was sporting it. She chimed in with "yeah and he's probably rapping at parties like the rat in "Barnyard." She also frequently cracks herself up. What can I say? We're an easy audience.

So somewhere out there, there is a mouse with a black leather spiked collar belting out "Back That Ass Up."

2007-03-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

The Unwinding......

I am not usually a person that gets unnerved or stressed, but this week I have done both...and it's only Wednesday! Yesterday I could have chewed bullets and it wouldn't have phased me. I have let a million things enter my mind at once and have tried to create scenarios to solve the World's problems and guess what?

I CAN'T DO IT!

So.... I have taken a step back to where I need to be...back in Bendy World and am taking things one step at a time.

Remember back when you actually had a landline telephone that had a cord? Remember how it would get tangled after awhile and you'd have to let the receiver drop so the cord would untangle? That is what I'm doing to me :)

2007-03-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

Red Light! Green Light!

I had a smiling moment yesterday. I smile a lot, but I saw something that touched my heart. I was pulling out of my subdivision and there was a little girl, probably somewhere between 8 & 10, playing hopscotch on her drive. HOPSCOTCH!! When was the last time you saw a kid playing a simple game like that? A game that isn't electronic? A game out in the fresh air?

I remember my childhood with my sister, cousins and neighborhood friends. We would play endlessly. Flashlight tag was always a big favorite. We loved playing flag football as well. You only went into the house to get a drink or relieve yourself. Outside was where it was at baby! You'd reluctantly say goodbye and go inside right before bed time....skin smelling like recess. Staight to the tub or shower then off to dream land.

I wonder if kids today did more of that...more of the simple things...if there'd be less problems with our youth. Last week a young boy here in Murfreesboro got into an altercation with another boy. Both were young teens. The boy went into the house and came out with a crossbow. Several kids managed to get the bow away from him, so the kid went back into the house and came out with a baseball bat and whacked the heck out of the other boy. This wasn't enough. He then went BACK inside and came out with a knife which he used to repeatedly stab the other kid's dog until it died.

What the heck is the deal? Yes, when we were young, there would be fusses, but we'd make up within minutes so that we could have fair teams, etc. Not once would we consider bringing out a weapon or even a baseball bat to incur bodily harm. That would be unthinkable! And heaven help your butt if mom or dad heard you being verbally ugly!! I'm just really concerned about the youth of today and where they're headed. If only we could go back to the days of "tag...you're it!!"

2007-02-21T10:44:00.000-08:00

The best story ever!!

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I was listening to Channel 5 news. A story caught my attention and I had to stop and watch.

A group of senior citizens in their 70's had stopped to eat at Cracker Barrel after a night of dancing. As they were leaving the restaurant around midnight, a man approached them demanding money. Well apparently this man had no clue what he was in for. The seniors wrestled him to the ground and held him there until police arrived. Can I get a "heck yeah!"

This career criminal had 89 criminal offenses in the last 23 years. Hopefully this attempt will be his last. The seniors also planned on appearing in court. And yes, they'll continue their dancing.

This just thrilled me to death. I hope when I'm elderly, I'll be as snappy as this group!

2007-02-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

Yet another Bendy story.....

I have an aquaintance I have been chatting with for a couple of months. We kid each other and talk about our kids and work and it's nice...just development of a friendship kind of thing. He travels a lot, but this week happened to be in town, so Tuesday he emailed me and asked if I'd like to meet for coffee and conversation. Well of course I would. I never turn down the opportunity to meet people face to face and conversation is always a good thing in my book.

So after work I cruise down to Starbuck's. Understand there is no expectations on my part. Just two friends yacking. So I enter, we hug, we get coffee and we start talking.

As time passes something starts tugging at me. This man sitting across the table is everything I would ever want in a partner. He had the looks that I'm attracted to, a totally warped sense of humor that rivaled mine, very intelligent, kind, and spiritual. I'm thinking "God? Did you just send me the man I've been praying for? Are you kidding me? I have no expectations then you sit him across from me?"

Conversation and laughter continues. We discuss our religious backgrounds. His was very regimented, so in his adult life, he went on a quest to see what he believed and find out who he was. Conversation shifted as they often do and we went down another path. There was a lull at one point and I said "So tell me what you discovered about yourself on your journey." He said "Are you really sure you want to go there?" I replied "Of course I do, or I would not have asked you." He then looked me in the eye and said "I basically came to terms with the fact that I'm gay."

Yep....It was at this moment I remembered God indeed has a sense of humor. "Bendy, this was not the man that I intended for you, girlfriend. My time not yours."

We continued our conversation. I assured him that he did not in any way "freak me out" and his revelation did not change our friendship. All too soon, it was time for him to leave and meet his daughter for dinner. He walked me to my car, we hugged and promised we would get together again for coffee when he was in town next. One can never have too many friends, and I have the feeling we will be friends for a very long time....

2007-02-05T11:58:00.000-08:00

Class Act.....

Like thousands of others, I watched the Superbowl last night. The Tennessee boy vs. the young thing. Two teams on the gridiron trying to play their game in nothing short of a downpour. Snaps that slipped due to the mud and wetness; passes caught then dropped because of the same. Challenge flags thrown and answered. I'm surprised they played as well as they did.

I have watched Tony Dungy coach for years. He is always calm and direct. I've never seen him throw anything or heard him say anything off color in anger. Last night, he became one of my heros.

The big news was that for the first time ever, a black coach was going to win the Superbowl, whether it be Tony Dungy or Lovie Smith. Yes, that was a big moment in history...agreed. However, when giving his acceptance speech after the game, Tony stated that though that fact was monumentous and he was honored to be recognized for that, the fact that both coaches, he and Lovie, were Christians and brought God to their game was much more important. This man witnessed simply to thousands upon thousands of people with a very brief and very humble statement. In my book, that's a class act.

2007-01-09T12:09:00.000-08:00

Celestial gifts....

I am not a material person. If my basic needs are met, I'm happy and thankful. However, I do take great delight in gifts of nature. Most days I receive smiles on the drive to work. A deer here, a fox there, a beautiful tree, a rainbow.... Simple things.

Last night I was driving home from school around 9:30. The sky was so very clear - a velvety deep navy with a spattering of the brightest stars. Looking at the stars took me back to a place when I was young. I remember lying on a blanket with my cousins in the front yard of my grandparents' house looking at the stars, trying to find the big dipper and various other formations. It was a happy memory that brought joy to my heart.

As I got closer to home, I was greeted with the most amazing moon. It hung huge in the sky, with only the bottom half visable. It was also an undescribable shade of orange....close to faded UT orange I suppose. As time passed, the orange eventually faded into a bright yellow/white color. Simply beautiful.

What would the world be like if we all took time to appreciate what surrounds us rather than working ourselves to death for material gain?

2007-01-08T11:53:00.000-08:00

Beginnings.....

Beginnings are always exciting for me for the most part. Beginning a new book...what turns and twists will it take? Beginning a new year...what's in store for my life? Beginning a new relationship....is this THE ONE? I like the anticipation of what's around the next bend in the road.

Tonight marks yet another new beginning for me. The next piece of the jigsaw puzzle of my life will be put into place. I start the next leg of my journey...massage therapy school. I'm very excited about what I will learn and the people that I'll meet along the way. Lives that I will touch and that will touch mine.

As I have gotten older, I have become aware of necessaties that had to occur before the puzzle piece would snap into place. Some things good....some things not so good...but all very important in the forming of the "me" I'm supposed to be.

The phrase, "We're not getting older; we're getting better" rings true with me. I like the 45 year old me much better than I liked the 35 year old me or even the 25 year old me for that matter. So imagine how awesome the 55 year old me will be!! There I go again...getting ahead of myself. looking for more "beginnings."

2006-12-26T11:35:00.000-08:00

The day after Christmas.....not a creature was stirring

Hustle and bustle has come and gone. Last minute shopping frenzy is over. Carefully wrapped gifts have been ripped open with wild abandonment. Thoughts of turkey and pie make your stomach flip-flop.

The day after Christmas for me is hard to describe. I welcome the peace, yet the silence can border on depressing.

So....

Today I have the music turned up and am dancing closely with a vacuum and a dust cloth. Poor substitutes for the laughter of family and friends, but we do what we must!

Besides...

I have New Year's to look forward to, right? :)

2006-12-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

Observations.....

As I stepped out my back door this morning, I saw various items strewn about. A football, a man's boot, and a plastic butter container. Now, the butter container I can explain. I was feeding a couple of stray dogs that turned out not to be strays, but escapees from a few houses down. I'll assume the man's boot was a thank you gift that they left. As for the football? Your guess is as good as mine.

I got in my car and headed into my day.

I stopped at Mapco Express to fill up my tank. There, over the pump was a sign listing a vast assortment of items..... Ice, soda, coffee, water, wrapping paper, candy....hold up....WRAPPING PAPER? One never knows just WHAT they can find at the Mapco.

Cruising down I24, I found myself behind a minivan that was driving a whopping 55. Now, I have nothing against driving 55, but the speed limit is 70. Of course, my exit was too close to drive around them, so I chugged along patiently and prayed they made it safely to their destination without incident from a road rage infected driver.

There were two state troopers sitting on 840 talking. Funny how motorists slow down until they're just barely out of view, then step on the gas like there's no tomorrow.

I decided to exit 840 and hit 96 in order to avoid the I65/Peytonsville road nightmare and found myself behind a nursery truck that was delivering the biggest darned tree. It looked like an evergreen and was wrapped in burlap. There was a red ribbon tied on the very tip, because it hung well over the tailgate of the trailer. I followed the bouncing ribbon along wondering just how big a hole would have to be dug and HOW were they going to get the darned thing off the truck and into the hole, not to mention keeping it straight while planting it.

I pulled into the parking lot at work and noticed whiteness in the air. Upon further inspection, it was as suspected.....snow flurries. Now I'm having visions of a roaring fire and hot chocolate. Guess I better get my mind back on work.....

2006-11-16T11:26:00.000-08:00

Even Bendy has her moments.....

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm very laid back and normally very happy.

However...

For the last three days I have fought hormonal rage. I think yesterday was the worst. I was armed and ready to bend a dear friend of mine into a pretzel for fidgeting. Poor guy didn't know how close to danger he came! I was confident that today would be different. I felt much calmer.

Then it happened.....

I had been at my desk for 5 minutes when absolutely my worst annoying coworker (ACW) waltzed into my office. All I ask is that you cut to the chase, tell me what you need, and exit quietly. Well, steps one and two were taken, but step three was blown all to hell. ACW opened her mouth about something that happened yesterday which spurned me to send out an email warning that phones were to be used for customers and not chatting back and forth to one another, because calls were MONITORED. ACW quipped "I'm sure it was probably me and so-n-so."

That is the exact moment that I lost my mind....

I informed ACW that it was indeed her and another party talking about yet another co-worker and that was not appropriate. ACW had the audacity to say "Well I always fess up when I'm guilty." You see, ACW has the idea that it's always okay to do what she wishes then ask forgiveness later. As the words exited her mouth, I think she saw the glint in my eye and the stapler in my hand because she made a hasty exit.

I have since turned on the soothing music and am experiencing peace.....Ahhhhhhh....

2006-11-07T09:22:00.000-08:00

The next leg of the journey…..

Last night after work, I drove to Cumberland, sat down with Mary and completed my paperwork for admission to the Massage Therapy program. Woo! Woo! Needless to say, I was and still am very excited. This is what I’m supposed to do…where I’m supposed to be. Who knows what will happen once I graduate, but I’m confident that there is a divine plan in place and this leg of my journey is a necessity.

So, I will live frugally for the next two years of my life and it will all be worth it!!

2006-11-01T08:55:00.000-08:00

The Breath From A Sigh...

Yesterday was a dismal day. Gray, rainy, icky. The kind of day that makes one wish they'd stayed at home in bed. There were times throughout when the drizzle turned to a downpour, then back to a drizzle again. Finally, toward the end of the day, the waterworks stopped.

I got into my car a little after 4:30 and as I pulled from the lot, I noticed the most brilliant rainbow that I had ever seen. Each color was so distinctive and so radiant that it looked like a tapestry in the sky. Like you could physically reach out and touch it. As I rounded the corner, I saw the other end....equally as brilliant, and mirrored by a second rainbow....more faint in color.

As I was drawn into the magic of color, Chris Tomlin's "Indescribable" started playing. The moment was perfect. If you are not familiar with the song, here are the lyrics.....

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeableYou see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
Incomparable, Unchangeable,You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same.
You are amazing God

Ahhhhhhhhh........ Yes...You are truly amazing......

2006-10-29T16:33:00.000-08:00

Three strikes you're OUT!!!

I believe in giving everyone more than one chance. However, there comes a time that you just have to say "That's it!" Today was just that moment. Let me preface with a little history.....

I used to get my oil changed at Walmart. I quickly found that regardless of what time I entered the service center, I spent no less than an hour there for a simple oil change. This is why I now take my car a mile down the road where I pull into the bay and ten minutes later, I pull out with a smile on my face. Time wasn't the only factor in changing my lube habits. There was the little incident of someone not tightening the nut in the oil pan leading me to believe I had a leak, because my driveway was artfully decorated with oil spots.

STRIKE ONE!

Then there was the day I drove in with a burnt out turn signal bulb. A simple and inexpensive procedure right? I was pleased.....until I found they'd replaced a yellow turn signal bulb with a WHITE one.

STRIKE TWO!

Today was the topper. I had a battery issue. There I sat in the restaurant parking lot with a battery that could not be revivied. A ring-a-ding later, the tow truck driver was on his way. He took one look at the battery and said "Uh ma'am....it's smoking for some reason and if we try to jump it, your car will more than likely catch on fire. Ummmm...that didn't bode well. So my friends and I followed Tow Truck Jim to (you guessed it) the Walmart service center.

I went to the counter and told the female associate that I needed to purchase a new battey and have it installed. She quickly informed me it would take about 2 1/2 hours because they were so busy. Okay, I could deal with that. My friends had some shopping to do and I decided that I could pick up a few items (including some cheesey novel) and kill some time. So after piddling a bit, I checked out and settled down on the service department bench and started reading. Eventually my cohorts appeared. Two hours had passed, so my friend went to the service desk to inquire how much longer I would have to wait. The manager informed her it would be another 2-2 1/2 hours. That is where I witnessed my friend losing her mind as well as witnessing a male manager that wanted to be anywhere but standing in front of her.

SO....

I called another friend and said "Bubba, bring your tools. You're going to have to put in my battery" and proceeded to the parking lot.

Now folks....I understand busy. I have no problem waiting my turn. I'm no better than anyone else. However, when I have already waited 2 hours, and I can see 3 mechanics standing around in the bay area shooting the breeze...I get a little testy.

STRIKE THREE! You are SO OUT!!!

I long for the days when you could pull in at the "filling station" and a qualified mechanic would pop the hood, fix the problem, take your money, and send you on your way. Maybe when I grow up, I will open a buisness that does just that.

In the words of Rascal Flatts....."I miss Mayberry."

2006-10-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Last night I heard the craziest thing. It was a news report stating that some school had "outlawed" playing tag. It was dangerous! Kids could get hurt and then there would be the possibility of lawsuits.

Huh???

I have fond memories of playing tag in my youth. Running and giggling and dodging and yes, falling, only to get back up and do it all over again. Got a scraped knee? Rub a little dirt in it and the bleeding will stop. The thought of a lawsuit never entered the minds of parents. Kids were just doing what kids do....enjoying life.

Why would anyone want to put a stop to that? Look deeper at tag...it's EXERCISE. A release of pent up energy. Cutting that out is doing damage to the youth of America. No tag kiddos....but you are free to sit and play video games for hours. Let's do more to contribute to childhood obesity.

It's a sad world indeed when we start taking away simple pleasures.....

2006-10-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

The simple things....

On my drive in this morning I noticed the full moon still visible in a blue, blue sky. I'm drawn to the moon, especially when it's full. Something primal deep within me connects to that sphere in the sky.

As I continued my journey, I noticed a red tailed hawk perched in a tree. Magnificent! I was thinking "Oh Lord if I could just have sight as keen as that winged creature. The ability to see that which was vital to my existance, rather than to be distracted with things that really don't matter.

I soon hit I-65 which is trying regardless of the time you hit it. You must pay attention and concentrate or you could be the very one Richard Thomas is reporting about on his flight report. As I passed one of the fields, I noticed something running up the hill towards the trees. Running not at a fast pace...more as a jog. An enjoyment of movement. It was a coyote. Not a care in the world...just enjoying simply "being." How wonderful that feeling would be. Dump that stress and just enjoy life.

Yep, I had a rather insightful drive in this morning. On the days where I want to fuss about the drive, I quickly remember the things that are often revealed to me during that time and I shut my pie hole :)

2006-09-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

Adios ACW...

Today is the last day for my ACW. He's been mentioned in another post. Annoying habits aside, he truly is a good person and I will miss him. He's one of the faithful that never misses and puts in his time without fail. Great work ethic.

I was sitting in another co-worker's office this morning talking when ACW strolled in. He was holding a piece of paper and he looked at me and said "I am so sorry! I was cleaning out my office and I found this memo." It was the memo from over a year ago announcing that I would be reporting to him. He said "I never realized you worked for me." I said "Don't sweat it...it was only for a week or two dude." We started giggling and he said "Well, was I a good boss?" I said "The best boss I ever had. Sorry about that Boss's day gift I never got you though."

Be thankful for the good people who cross your path...annoying habits and all. They might be your boss someday...although briefly :)

2006-09-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

Heavy Sigh...

The feeling of "ick." No one wants it, yet we all experience it at some time or another. Today my feeling of ick stems from being under appreciated. Taken for granted. The thought that I will always be around like an old worn out comfortable shoe in the back of a closet. The new shoes get worn to the best places, get complimented, get shined. The old shoes get dug out to do the dirty work then are discarded without a thought once the job is completed. Placed in the back of the closet until the next time...

So how do we "shine?" We "old shoes." What is it we must do to get the "oohs" and "ahhhhs?"

Or....

Should we be content in knowing that it was us that got the job done while the newbies sat by the wayside looking pretty?

I want both, baby. I want the satisfaction of knowing it was my hard work and dedication that got the job done and I want the praise for doing so. I don't think that is too much to ask.

So I will continue with the work and the "git 'er done" attitude and I will continue to seek the recognition I so deserve. It may be an uphill battle, but I've got the strengh to keep on a pushin!

2006-09-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

I wanna be a cowboy baby........

Today was absolutely beautiful. The sun was shining...the temperature close to perfect. It was the kind of day that made one wish to be doing anything besides working.
On my way home I noticed a red GMC pickup in the lane next to me. It was two cars ahead. The sliding back window open, both side windows down. The driver was young, brandishing a straw cowboy hat. Music on, but not blaring. I could see him singing and bobbing to the music. This vision made me smile. (And it didn't hurt that he was a cutie.)

The message was clear. Forget about whatever stresses or frustrations the day may have held. Let it go and enjoy life. It's there for the taking. Breathe in the fresh air, bask in the warmth of the sunshine, feel the beat of the music and enjoy the rhythm of life!

So....

As I hit I-65, I rolled down my window, turned up the music, and sang and smiled all the way home :)

2006-09-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

The big sleepy chair.....

"Roz, do you still have the big sleepy chair?" She responded with "Yes, it's in storage. What made you think of that?" I replied, "If you ever want to get rid of it, I will be happy to buy it from you." The next email simply said "You can have it. Just let me know when you want it and I'll bring it down."

Ahhhhhhhhhh

The big sleepy chair is an oversized comfort zone. A place great for reading or for curling up and watching movies or simply cuddling with someone special. But alas, this chair has a curse. Sit it in long and you'll be snoozing peacefully. I know this, because I have experienced it on more than one occasion. It envelopes you like the best of hugs and before you know it, you're so happy and relaxed that off to dreamland you go.

So now, I must do some cleaning and rearraging so that I can be ensconced in that comfort zone as soon as possible :)

2006-09-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

Friends & Family

This past weekend, I took a couple of extra days to extend the already lengthy weekend so that I could go back home to visit my family. My girls drove up as well which made the trip extra special.

We all gathered at a campground in Branson. Now, this girl doesn't "camp" so she wasn't looking forward to that aspect. However, this camping was far from roughing it. The folks have a wonderful pull trailer that is nicer than my duplex. My sister and brother-in-law have one as well. I stayed in a cabin that was nicer than most hotel rooms I've stayed in. No complaints from me.

On Sunday, more friends and family members drove in and we had one whale of a barbeque. We all had a wonderful time just sitting around and visiting. No radio...no tv...just conversation and lots of laughter.

I realized something this morning. It hit me right smack over the head. I enjoyed myself because it was something I was familiar with. We used to do the same thing when I was a child. Many hours were spent with family gathered in the shade trees of my grandparents' home talking and laughing and having dinner. Comfort. Just what I needed.....

2006-08-25T08:18:00.000-07:00

Light Your World.....

Today is Friday. I was in a wonderful mood on the way to work this morning. My heart was full to overflowing. Everything just looked brighter today. The trees were greener. The tomatoes hanging on the vine at the nursery I pass were redder. The sun was shining on the horses at the stable and reflected muscles that seemed more defined. Ahhhhh....

I was listening to a song by Newsong entitled "Light Your World." It speaks of a woman who's husband has passed. Her phone never rang. There was no laughter. No joy. Until one day when a neighbor child rang her doorbell and a friendship began.

It's the simple things. The things we don't think about. What may seem like nothing to you may mean the world to someone else. A smile, a handshake, a wave, a hug. Simple things.

Some time back, I was told that I was a "joy carrier." When people meet me or see me, they smile because they're drawn to my smile and the joy that is within me. I like that. I try to use my joy everyday to make someone's life a little brighter...to light my world.

2006-08-23T13:54:00.000-07:00

An Afternoon Giggle........

Disclaimer: Names have been left out to protect the non-innocent ;)

I work in a totally unique place. I can say with confidence that I'm sure it's a place like no other. Yes, sometimes things get stressful, but for the most part, we have a lot of fun. There are a lot of great people here and we're more like family than co-workers.

So this afternoon M was in J's office looking through some sample magazines to take to someone at a church. B was standing in the door way while this was going on. You must note that my office is next door to J's office. So they're rifling through magazines and someone picks up a Cosmo. M says "I don't think that's something they're going to want laying around at a church." B starts reading titles off the cover......"What Sex Is Like For Him......Girlie Moves That Make Guys Melt.....His Secret Pleasure Zone." So I holler from my office "HEY!! Can I have that?" Of course the three off them totally crack up and the next thing I know, the darned thing's on my desk!

Reckon I got some reading to do! lol

2006-08-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

Dance in the rain, baby

A friend of mine has this saying posted on his blog.....

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. Life is about learning to dance in the rain."

I like that...a lot.

If we wait for the "storm" to pass, who knows what opportunities we missed? Kind of like wishing your life away. Y'all know what I mean...."I wish it were Friday." We've all heard it...we've all said it. Embrace the "now" for you never know what the moment holds. When life presents a problem...dance through it, for you know eventually the sun will peek through the clouds and the storm will pass. Remember the feeling of playing in the rain when you were a child? (Until your mother made you come in before you caught your death of cold) Remember the feeling of seeing a puddle of water, and without hesitation, jumping in with both feet? A giggle usually followed. How can you fret when you're giggling?

So...

The next time a storm crosses your path...dance

2006-07-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

Pondering.....

So now the big news is Lance Bass "came out." Why is this news worthy? Is it because he's a "celebrity" of sorts? I personally could give 2 cents about Lance's sexual orientation. If he's found love, good for him!
Hmmmm I'm wondering how many folks would be grabbing the lastest People magazine if the front page said "Cindy comes clean. Yes it's true! She admits she is a hetero!"

2006-07-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

Peace.....

Every morning on my way down 840, I pass a rather large pond on the right side of the highway. It always looks so calm and peaceful. Every now and again there will be a couple of ducks out there, but usually the surface is smooth as glass.
I often think how nice it would be to sit out there on the bank early in the morning or at dusk with an old zebco rod & reel, casting out into those quiet waters, caring nothing about actually catching anything. Just going through the motions. Hearing the "whir" of 10lb test as it flies through the air...then the slow clicking as you feel the lure resist the water. Am I a fisherman? Heck no. I care nothing about catching fish. But the serenity that comes with casting your cares upon the water...now that's another story :)

2006-07-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

Shut up and take your whoopin!

Once again, Mindy McCready is in the news. Trial time don't ya know. Now it's cries that the police pulled her over to harrass her, not because she was driving poorly. She was in 6 inch heels, so when she removed them to take the sobriety test, her pants were too long and interfering and the rocks hurt her feet, so naturally she couldn't walk a straight line. Who could under those conditions? What was that officer thinking????

Trust me, if this gal was pulled over, I would have rolled my pants up and sucked it up no matter how damned tender my feet were to ensure that I walked a straight damned line if I were sober.

I know...there are always two sides. I'm sure she's a lovely person. But all signs point to guilty on this one. Why must blame always be cast everywhere but the rightful spot? No comeuppance.

2006-07-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

Good Ol' Summertime....

What is it about summer that makes me think of my childhood? Those hot afternoons where all us kids piled in the back of Grandma & Grandpa's old green Chevy pickup and headed to the creek. Beautiful crystal clear water that would take your breath away from being ice cold. The brave ones would dive in and get it over with while the wimpy ones would slowly inch our way painfully in until we were immersed. Once everyone was wet, the fun began! We'd swim and splash and dive and chase crawdads and minnows until we were exhausted. Sometimes Grandpa would try to fish upstream a bit, and every now and then caught one, which he'd release. When it was time to go, we'd pile back in the truck and head down the road. Good times. Thoughts that still bring a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart.

2006-07-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

In the garden of good and evil......

I've been contemplating this post most of the day. As a living, breathing, caring, spiritual individual, I try to be "good." I'm laidback, have a great sense of humor and most things slide off me like water off a duck's back. I do my best not to wrong my fellow man, and should I slip, I do my best to recover the wrong doing. Thankfully these intances are few and very far between.

However, these past couple of days I've been privy to some "goings ons" that are anything but good. In my world, what comes around goes around. You know...the karma thing. However, in this instance, what goes around keeps going around and though it is wrong in all senses of the word, it's going unpunished. This is frustrating the fire out of me!! I was so disturbed last night that I finally said "Okay God, you gotta take this because I can't worry about it anymore."

I just don't understand it. Why do people do underhanded things? Do they no longer have a conscience? Do they not believe that the wrong you do today will bite you in the ass tomorrow? Got news for you folks...it happens some time, some place, when you least expect it.

2006-07-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

You know it's going to be a good day when....

I headed out the door this morning, just looking forward to getting the day over. Know what I mean? It's Friday. Just getting in the car when I look over at my neighbor's yard and there sits the cutest little black & white puppy I have ever seen! It looks to be Pit and it is looking at me like "well? say something!" So immediately I start cooing "Ohhhhhh you are sooooo cute" among other feel good puppy speak. He is wiggling all over and the tail is going like crazy. Now I can't wait to get back home to see if he's out. Smiles all around.

I then pulled into the corner Mapco to get gas. The pump would not read my debit card. This is crazy. It's a brand new pump for crying out loud! So I go in and there is a man at the register trying to pay with his debit card. Long story short, we stood there for some time and the line greatly lengthened because the cashier had to manually charge his card. Thankfully mine was fine when it was at last my turn. Now this minor irritation had thrown a wrench in my morning. Everything was going smoothly, but now I was running a tad bit behind. Current mood....grrrrrr.

I pulled on the interstate and, of course, had to wait at the light. There was a red jeep in front of me with the back opened so that the air was free flowing. I saw the driver look in the passenger seat for a moment and I assumed he had his child with him.....when all of a sudden....this beautiful big sweetie turned around and smiled at me!! A tail wagger!!!

What is it about dogs that is so calming? I can be in the worst of moods and see a tail wagger and all my troubles melt away completely. Immediate happiness. I no longer have my Big Sweetie. He's currently having a large time in Doggie Heaven. However, when I need a fix, I have visitation rights with the four legged wonders of various friends. There's Gaston....the cornbread jonesing cocker....Sasha....the bitchy but loveable dalmation mix....Debo....the goofy pit often referred to as "big dumb doggie" and max....5 lbs. of spoiled rotten yorkie. I'm Aunt Cindy to all of these canines and they know behond a shadow of a doubt when I'm around, they're going to get loads of doggie love. It's just the best :)

2006-07-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

It's a funky kind of day....

It was a "Play that Funky Music White Boy" drive in this morning. Yes, it's Wednesday with all the characteristics of Monday after a long weekend. I figured what better way to up my mood than to play the funk on the drive in. Now normally I listen to country, but this day called for something else. The harder the rain came down, the louder the volume crept up. For all intents and purposes, it worked. I'm in a fairly decent mood.

I had a wonderful weekend. I didn't do anything overtly exciting, but the escape was fantastic! Saturday I returned Jes to her father and sister. A friend of hers caught a ride back with us. I was excited, because I figured two 14 year old girls would chatter and keep me alert. Boy did I miss the mark on that one! Headphones on...music up...let the snoring begin! I dropped them off in Memphis and headed home with a huge pit in my stomach. The same one I get every time my kids "go home." I don't think I will ever be rid of that feeling.

Sunday and Monday afternoons were spent at the pool with a friend of mine, baking in the sun. Man it was hot out! The cool water felt wonderful against hot skin. There were twin boys there with their grandmother on Monday. They looked to be around 5 or 6. The name of the game was "CANNONBALLLLLLL!!!" I got tired just watching them! They were so cute and lots of fun to watch. They made me remember all the times I had at the pool and lake with my cousins when I was little. Great memories....

Monday evening I met of friend of mine face to face for the first time We've known each other for 4 years. It was very special and that's all I will say for now on that subject.
Last night I was invited to partake in burgers and hot dogs and all the trimmings with friends. I have such wonderful friends. We're more like family than anything. It was a great time!

And now? Well now I'm trying to figure out how to make this day an adventure! I'll keep you posted on how that turns out :)

2006-06-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

Paybacks.....

Saturday I'm driving to Memphis to pick up Youngest Daughter. She'll be visiting for a week and I'm very excited. Oldest Daughter is stuck working in the office until the middle of July for her Grandparents. Once they return, she's coming to visit.

Today....OD informs me that her father stated he would take care of her work if she'd like to come up with YD. My heart leaps a bit..but was preempted by "Mom, Steven's going to be on a mission trip in Equador next week, so I'm just going to come up in July." I picked at her a bit and told her that would be fine as long as she managed to squeeze some time in with dear ol' mom.

After I hung up the phone, I was taken back to my college years. I remember coming home and either being on the phone or gone with my friends. Time with my parents? Huh??? Now I got a good dose of what my dear ol' mom went through.

The past few times that I have been back to the folks' I have made and effort to spend as much time as I can with them. I know there will come a day when I won't have that luxury. Hopefully someday OD and YD will come to that realization as well.

2006-06-16T07:57:00.000-07:00

Right here, right now....you're exactly where you're supposed to be

I was driving in to work this morning listening to the Bon Jovi "Have A Nice Day" cd. The 3rd song on the cd is "Welcome to Where Ever You Are." Great lyrics.

Quit worrying over the past or the future. Embrace the now.

My "truth" is that everything happens for a reason. The miseries, the struggles in our lives make us stronger. They mold us into who we are. Embrace the now...love who you are right this very minute.

2006-06-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

People...

I love them. So many interesting case studies. I find myself pondering at just what possibly could be going through the minds of various people.

I started out with a lovely drive to work this morning, after wading my way through the Bonnarooligans at the Mapco. Anyway, that's an entirely different topic. So the drive down 840 was lovely. Sun shining...everything looking fresh and crisp....

And then....

I turned on to 65. Traffic was at a crawl in every lane, including the merge lane. Nightmare city. I'm thinking there's a wreck somewhere. Anyway, I'm creeping along with the other creepers and some kind soul let me in. Now, one good deed deserves another, so after creeping a bit, I slow down even further to create a space between myself and the car in front of me so that another thankful motorist could merge in. But it doesn't happen. I do this on several occasions, and still no one merges in. What are these people thinking? "Awww shucks I'm gonna just wait until the last minute to merge cuz why bother now???" And then, these PROCRASTINATORS run out of merge lane and they all think they're coming over at once. And don't even get me started on the moron that flew down the side of the road. I'll admit it...there were a few profane remarks spewed forth before it was all over.

However.....

By the grace of God, I made it to work unscathed once more. So for that, I am thankful :)

2006-06-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

ACW.......

We all have them...the Annoying CoWorker who will be referenced as ACW going forward. I have several, but the ACW of the hour has an office next to mine. This person keeps to himself unless spoken to, is intelligent and would do anything for you if asked.

So what's the problem?????

Every week day, around 10:30, ACW opens a bag of chips and commences to crunching. K A R U C H I N G like there is no tomorrow. Every day, sometimes all day. I have thought of retaliating by purchasing a large bag of corn nuts, but I value my teeth. Friday we celebrated the CFO's birthday with sub sandwiches and...you guessed it...chips. Not only did ACW crunch from 11:30 on, he made a gazillion trips back and forth to the break room to restock. This meant parading back and forth in front of the door to my office. I came very close to saying "For Pete's sake, just bring the entire bag back to your office already!!" But I refrained. I'm thinking for Christmas I will purcase a case and anonomously hide them in his office. Of course, I will be equipped with a pair of ear plugs :)

2006-06-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

Phew!!

The phrase "the more ahead I am, the more behinder I get" rings true with me this week. I've been busting it and am still covered up. Guess I should count it as job security and be thankful.

A friend made an observation yesterday. She said she'd been worried about me. I hadn't been "myself." Hmmmm I thought and thought. Yes, I have a friend that justs exhausts me and I cannot escape. I have a couple of work frustrations. However, I've been living with these things for years, so I couldn't see that the problem would stem from such.

Then it hit me...

I'm still mourning Hershey. I miss him deeply...more than I realized. I go home to an empty house every night. I didn't realize how much that tail wagging chocolate beast affected my day to day.

So now that I have identified the problem, I must deal with it. When I jones for puppy love, I'll visit my friends with tail waggers. No, it isn't the same, but it is nice and fills a void.

2006-06-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

Another cogg in the wheel....

I used to love to watch 'The Jetson's.' George worked for Mr. Spacely at Coggwell Coggs. As random thoughts were whiring through my head today (as they often do), I thought about the big picture. Yes, sometimes I have thoughts that are so big I can't fathom and my head starts to hurt and I think I'm a little wacked.

But anyway....

Aren't we all really just a cogg in the grand scheme of things? We're all here for a reason. If a cogg goes "missing" then the world as we know it, is thrown off kilter. The circle of life is a perfect balance. Shouldn't we be honored to be a part of that balance? When I sit and ponder the heavens and the earth, I'm in awe that I'm a part of something so grand. Sometimes I may feel small and insignificant. However, each and every cogg plays a significant role wheather we are rocket scientists or homemakers. Every cogg is important...none more than others...meaning equality.

Kinda cool huh?

2006-05-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

lucy.....i'm homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So I went on a cruise with 4 friends. To go on vacation and be in close quarters for a week, it is best to make sure you like each other.

Two flew to Tampa the morning of the 12th. The other 3 of us took to the highway around 2:15 that afternoon. Road trips are always fun.... unless one of the parties is drinking Crown and Dr. Pepper and needs to stop every hour for a potty break. Thankfully he passed out I mean fell asleep and the rest of the drive went smoothly.

We spent the night at a hotel with all 5 present and accounted for, then hit the ship the next day around 11:00. If you have never been on a cruise ship, you must do it at some point in your life. The people watching alone is worth the trip.

The first day we spent at sea. Nothing but sun and frosty beverages!! Baking to a golden brown while laughing with friends is simply the best. The next day we had a stop in Grand Caymen, which was very beautiful. The shops were neat and the white sand and blue blue crystal clear water were breath taking. Unfortunately, we were only there a short while.

Tuesday we hit port in Calica Mexico. Being an industrial area, there is nothing there...nothing. This means a taxi ride to Playa Del Carmen. We had to divide into two taxis for about a 15 minute trek. Once in town, we hit the shops. First stop....tequilla shopping! We hit what seemed to be a million stores (though I'm sure it was more like 10.)

Then we hit the beach. Again....beautiful sand and incredible water. We spent the majority of the day basking and swimming, then it was time to get back to the ship.

Wednesday was spent at sea again. Some of us (me) that were worn out and had had enough sun (me) spent some of the day napping in the cool of the cabin.

Dinners and laughter and dancing and comedy shows and music shows and sitting on deck and time spent on our balcony and much much more....

All too soon, it was time to go home...